Meaning In Tragedy
by PreventPersuadePervert
Summary: Post-Tempted. Can death and turmoil shake the relationship between Jack and his knight, Damien? /Unfinished, if wanted contact me./
1. Burnt

Title: Meaning In Tragedy

Rating: We will say PG13/T for now.

Warnings: Slash, language, and post-Tempted.

Notes: I really wanted to devote an entire story to Damien & Jack, because they are one of my favorite HoN couples. However, this story will take awhile to complete. I have many non-fan fiction fiction projects in my head, not to mention college work. Also, I will apologize now for any grammar errors, because this has no BETA. And, excuse any OOC spasms from Jack. I see him as a more effeminate man than Damien, and since I am a mere heterosexual female, I will sometimes totally screw him up. I will be alternating between point of views. This probably sounds really confusing, and this author note has gotten so long that I'm sure no one even cares anymore. Well, please enjoy.

* * *

_One. _Damien.

I had never felt so separate from the world before. Half of me had to be still alive, because I could feel the pain. It just was not as harsh as it probably should have been. I could hear voices, but none were really clear. I felt suspended between universes, and no one could pull me away from either center. There wasn't much to see, I rather felt my way through the nothingness. I swear I could feel a hand against my lower back, guiding me downwards. It was soft and gentle, very feminine. I have to hold onto the fantasy that it was truly Nyx herself trying to push me back inside my body.

Everything went completely white. It was just so…so, so potent and overwhelming. Feeling nothing and being so blinded all at once. Then I could feel myself fall back down. The landing was harsh.

All of the pain that had been waiting on the outside of my flesh crawled back in with a vengeance. So I did the only thing a reasonable person would do if they felt as though their very bones were on fire. I tipped back my head and screamed like a cursed banshee.

"Oh, thank Goddess! He's alive!" a female voice yelped over my own painful burst.

"Alive? He sounds like he's being murdered," another voice added. This one, also female, was much less thankful and much more crass.

Aphrodite. Yes, I was back. I groaned and swallowed my screams. Blinking furiously, I allowed my eyes to open a little. Erin's blonde hair was frizzed out in fifty different directions and there was dirt all over her cheeks and neck. But, for once, she didn't look like she gave a damn.

"Yes! Gay Nerd's still with us," Aphrodite commented. I know she intended it to be insulting but she looked as relieved as Erin.

I didn't speak. My lips felt dryer than they ever have. And that includes the one winter I went without my chapstick for a whole month. For a few moments I had to sit there and wonder where the hell I was. It appeared to be the middle of a field. Then it came crashing down inside my brain like a knocked over bookshelf of bad Elizabethan poetry. Kalona. Zoey. Poor Heath!

After Kalona viciously murdered Heath, our little trip to Italy went from minor threat to full on scale war. Zoey understood (finally!) that the fallen angel wasn't all what his body suggested. He was nothing like Erebus, thank Nyx. But Aphrodite doesn't have prophetic visions for her health. We understood the logistics of what was approaching. Kalona was going to burn all vampyres and humans, and take the world in order to bring it back under the rules of the ancients. In order to stop this from happening, Zoey had to destroy him. Not trap him under earth, but literally remove his existence from the universe.

How that was exactly going, I had no idea. I did know that I was blasted by what looked like a meteorite and knocked totally unconscious. Then, I was brought back to life by what I wish to believe was Nyx's guiding hand. But I had to figure out how to get back up, dust myself off, and not burn up in a crisp.

"What's been going on? How long have I been out?" I asked both girls, but they just shook their heads.

"I'm not sure. I found you here. Everyone has gone bat shit crazy." Aphrodite explained.

Erin nodded. "And I found Aphrodite."

"Where is Shaunee?" I questioned her, but Erin 's frown deepened further.

"I don't know."

"We haven't seen anyone else in hours. Zoey and Mr. Macho Warrior Stark followed Kalona down to the shore." Aphrodite gestured south. "And everyone else was left to fend off the fire monsters,"

She was referring to what I thought was a giant meteor. But fire monsters wouldn't shock me either.

"There you are, my love," Darius strode up behind Aphrodite. He had a long gash running down his chest, which was bleeding slightly.

Like a jack-in-the-box, Aphrodite sprung up from beside me.

"I was searching everywhere for you! What's happened to your magnificent chest?" she asked, appalled.

"And I, you. But don't worry about that." his dark brow furrowed. "We have bigger problems. The fire beasts that the fallen creature has rained down on us have surrounded the island and are now closing us in. We need a way to silence their flames, or everyone will burn to death,"

"Erin, does your water element work against the fires?" I asked her, trying to sit up without flinching. My shirt was burnt into my skin.

Now her brow rose upwards. "Yes. But not enough to clear the island."

Darius shrugged. "That may be enough. We could take one of those boats we found earlier and get out onto the sea,"

"Perfect plan, handsome." Aphrodite patted Darius's cheek. "But what about Zoey, the whole world is ending thing, and everyone else?"

I had to concur. 'Everyone else' meant Shaunee and Jack. My heart pained greatly at the thought of Jack. I hadn't even asked about him, when he should be on the forefront of my mind. He usually always is. This immortal business is driving wedges through all other parts of my life.

"She's right," I said, grimacing as I propped up on my knees.

"Careful, Damien," Darius warned, watching my body sway.

"Oh, I'm fine,"

"You look like the fires swept right over you, idiot. Of course you aren't fine," Aphrodite tittered.

"I have to find Jack!" That came out way louder than it should have, but they seemed to get the point.

Erin's eyes, usually so bright and cheerful, were wide and filled with sadness. "We'll look for Shaunee and Jack first, you guys. Then we'll worry about the fires, and, of course, the end of the world." she grinned sheepishly at us.

"Okay. We have a little over an hour, that's my estimate." Darius grasped Aphrodite's hand and the two of them led us down the hill, which shadowed the ditch in where I had fallen. Erin took hold of my arm and the small of my back. It was a rough way to get into a standing position, but now the only focus and point was Jack Twist.

Like I've mentioned, he's usually the only point.

"How did you ever lose track of Shaunee? You two are joined at the hip, sometimes I think literally," I smirked at Erin. It's a poor attempt on trying to raise her spirits, but it is all I've got.

Erin smiled but this one failed at touching her eyes. "The fire burned a wall right between us. Before I could even call my element, I was unconscious. Whatever Kalona and freaky Neferet are up to, it really does seem like the end of us all,"

"I pray to Nyx not," I whispered, my voice hollowed by the increasing pain of my burnt flesh.

"Baby, I've been praying to Nyx ever since I saw poor Heath crippled on the floor,"

Erin seemed so listless it was unnerving. We were silent for a few more moments, trying to focus on seeing Darius and Aphrodite through all the smoke and ash. The once green island was nothing but dry, lifeless sand. When I glanced upwards, the sky was nowhere to be found. It reminded me a lot of different literature pieces about deserts and destruction. I guess the geek in me will never give up, because all I kept comparing it to was T.S Eliot's _"The Wasteland"_. Every time I read that poem, I find more disparaging things about it.

"I don't think this is the end of us, Erin. Not yet." I said to her just as we reached the crest of the hill.

She reached out and graced her fingers over the one spot on my hand that wasn't blackened.

"I want to believe that."

"Nerds! Look! More nerds!" Aphrodite shouted at us from below. Sure enough, Shaunee was there looking tired but unscathed. Jack, on the other hand, was limping and grasping his left arm. But his smile was still fixed into place.

I think it's his smile I fell for first.

"Damien!" he called for me. I wanted so bad to run to him, but that was impossible and probably deadly with my current state. I settled for a limp and tried to ignore his strangled gasps when he saw the burns.

"What's happened to you?! Did you get swallowed by the flames?" Jack looked up at me, his wide eyes filled with pain and love, all at the same time.

"Yeah…or just waltz right into them? Damn, Damien," Shaunee smiled at me, Erin already right beside her.

"We're pretty intimate, me and the fire monsters." I smiled back, much to Jack's chagrin.

"You seem badly injured." his frown worsened. I couldn't really move my arms up, so I had to just settle for a hold on his left side.

"I'll live. What happened to your arm?"

Jack's gaze darted away from mine. "Boulder tipped down from the caves, by the beach."

"You could have been killed heading that way," My eyes were so filled with concern, almost to the point where I could feel them twitch inside their sockets.

"I know, I know," he mumbled. Jack wouldn't look up, but he also wouldn't let my hand drop from his hip either.

"Earth to homosexual nerds!" Aphrodite snapped her fingers several times to break us out of our private conversation.

"Right…so what's the plan?" Jack asked, still gripping his arm tightly.

"I'm going to test my element on the fires. Then we can get a boat, form a path, and go out towards the sea." Erin explained.

"What about Zoey and Stark? And the Council?"

"Fuck the Council." Aphrodite rolled her eyes. Again, I found myself agreeing with her completely.

Darius, holding tight on his deranged girlfriend's hand, pointed over to a set of jagged rocks.

"That is where they are, battling Neferet and Kalona. But they are too far gone in the Otherworld to see us if we approached their bodies."

"Whoa, wait. So they aren't even there?" Aphrodite asked. "We can't let them burn here!"

"We can't move them. We have no choice."

All of us became very quiet. I didn't have to look at Jack's pale, startlingly beautiful face to know that there was tears sliding down it. Erin and Shaunee grasped each others hands. Aphrodite seemed very irate, which was her obvious choice of expression for any emotion.

"Let's move then," she grumbled and headed for the northern side of the island.

It took awhile to get to the boats. They weren't much, and we would have to take two of them since they were built for sets of fours. All the while I thought only of the negatives. What if Erin's element fails? What if Zoey and Stark fail? What if we really are all doomed, as well as humanity as a whole? And it may be dumb to even think, but I really wanted to fix Jack's limp arm, and tell him everything would be swell. However, I couldn't do that. We didn't have time to spare.

"Erin, you should get somewhat close to the flames." Darius instructed.

"Right. Twin, Damien, come with me." her voice was almost pleading. We followed her silently to the shore, watching the fire that was so intent on destroying us.

It seemed so harmless to the naked eye. Blazing, red and orange towers that seethed. The air above them seemed to shiver. It could almost be normal if it weren't spread out in a circle that encompassed the entire island.

Erin raised her arms towards the sky. Rather, what used to be the sky.

"Water, I beg of you, come to this forsaken island. Let us shatter through these flames and allow us to break free onto the gentle sea,"

For a moment, it was like we really were forsaken. Nothing happened. I could hear a pitiful cry issue from somewhere deep within Jack and my heart lurched. Then, the flames began to spread apart.

"Yes!" Shaunee squealed. "Fire, I ask you to come to us and push your kin back so we can tread forth!"

The orange, billowy monster seemed to roar. But it was bending.

Both of them looked back at me expectantly. "Oh! Right. Air! Come to us and blow these wretched flames away so that we can continue under Nyx's guidance."

A small, narrow path opened up. It wasn't much, and it looked very dangerous because it was engulfed within the walls of fire. But it was consistent. And that was all that mattered. The three of us quickly scrambled back towards the others.

"Damien, Jack," Darius slid one of the row boats towards me. It was painted poorly in green and white, but it was probably the most beautiful way of escape possible. Darius carried the other boat himself. He was a lot to compete with, the way his bronze muscles gleamed in the yellow fire light.

I must admit, I'm envious. But Jack's eyes were trained totally on me as we carried our rowboat together, following the Twins back down towards the tiny opening.

"Be wary of the flames! All of you, say blessings to Nyx…we don't want the fire to press back against us." Darius warned loudly over the roar of the fire monsters.

He settled Aphrodite, Erin, and Shaunee into the first boat and pushed it out onto the water. Carefully, Darius then settled the coarse rope under his foot. He grasped the stern of our boat, ushering Jack and I inside with haste. Grasping the end of both ropes, Darius then stepped towards the other tiny boat and tied the two boats together.

"It's not much, but I pray it will keep us from separating," Darius's dark eyes were warm, even comforting. But even the Son Of Erebus warrior had doubts hidden all over his sculpted face.

The boats pushed away from each other, dividing us between a few feet of calm, dark blue water. Everything was eerily silent out there. No one spoke, but what was there to even talk about? We had escaped. At least, we had escaped burning to death. But out here, without any experienced adults, some of us would certainly die. And if Zoey somehow failed…then there was no hope to be had at all.

Jack seemed to know exactly what I was fretting over without even having to ask.

"Even though we're away from the fires…I still feel like we're going to burn," Jack whispered against the top of my shoulder. His eyes weren't watery like before. There was something even worse buried deep inside them. A haunted, deadened look that seemed way too old to even be allowed.

"Have faith in Zoey, and Stark. She's a powerful High Priestess. I only wish there was a way that we could help her, be with her in that Otherworld…" my voice trailed off in thought.

A pair of soft lips pecked my burnt cheek so lightly it felt as though the wind had kissed me.

"Elements," Jack said simply.

"Shaunee! Erin! We have to send our elements to Zoey. It won't be a full circle without Stevie Rae, but we can still help." I shouted across the calm, still sea.

At first, I had thought that they were too steeped in doubt to even answer. But then I saw them stand in unison.

"Perfect idea!" I heard Erin yell back.

"Hey, Queer Nerd Number One! What about us? We wanna help too, you know." Aphrodite stood as well and the boat shook beneath her. I could hear Darius tell her to sit down or drown.

"We could just pray with you," Jack suggested. "Maybe focus on earth, or just Nyx in general."

I kissed him, a little harder than he had kissed me, but I knew he was just trying to avoid my crispy exterior.

"Exactly. Do exactly that!" I told him and then relayed that idea to Aphrodite and Darius.

It wasn't a genius plan, but it was all we could do with Zoey and the immortals being disembodied. I grasped Jack's hand and willed every molecule inside of me to have the energy to push Air to Zoey and Stark.

That was when the entire world became cloaked in whiteness once again.

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A little bit of a hanging end, but Jack will continue on within the next post. If you are confused, I apologize. This takes place nearly right after where Tempted left off. I just jumped from Heath's death and went onto explain Kalona's destruction. But, writing in the eyes of other characters, that main plot line won't be as explored. Please Review!


	2. Nothingness

Rating: We will say PG13/T for now.

Warnings: Slash, language, and post-Tempted.

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_Two. _Jack.

My entire body seemed to quake once the Twins and Damien summoned their elements and sent them to Zoey. I couldn't really see what Aphrodite and Darius were doing about it. They were watching the Twins, perhaps as a precaution if anything dangerous began. Although I do not have any affinity with an element, it was oddly my idea that the three use them. Damien seemed to be taking it to a severe level and brought all of them into some sort of trance that was making even me nauseous. Unless that was just the starting stages of seasickness.

It was hard not to stare at Damien. He was sitting beside me in our tiny, pathetic rowboat. Eyes closed. Lips quivering. His neck was even bent back slightly towards the clouds of smoke and smog that hovered over the water. Shaunee and Erin looked very similar sitting a few feet away from us in their own boat. My hands twitched restlessly at my sides. It was way too often that I felt useless. Still a fledgling. No real blessings by Nyx whatsoever. Smallest. Sure, I tried my best to hide it all the time. If I seemed happy, then no one would ask any questions. It was only around Damien I could really feel that happiness. Without him it was non-existent, even in theory.

Carefully, I extended my right hand and slid it over Damien's red, sore one. He was burnt very badly. His injuries would have to wait to be healed, unfortunately. He didn't even seem to notice my touch, which frightened me.

Where could Damien be? Was he caught now, in the Otherworld, like Zoey and her warrior Stark?

Zoey was one lucky Priestess sometimes. I know she bears a lot of weight from her blessings, but to have so much talent! Not to mention every guy she touches at her beck and call. And to obtain her own warrior?! Jealous, jealous Jack.

My eyes couldn't stop watching Damien. Perhaps he's somewhat like a warrior.

A few feet away, Aphrodite began to scream. Darius started shaking her, holding her shoulders so she wouldn't writhe herself right out of the boat and into the water. My legs began to form the position to spring into action. Perhaps pull the rope so that our boats were closer. But I didn't get a chance to. A strong burning sensation developed, starting at the palm and shot directly to the base of my wrist. I yelped. I couldn't help it, and even I noticed how girly it must have sounded.

Darius yelled across the water. "Jack? Jack! Let go of Damien. Let g-go," his voice faded strangely and instead of being sensible and dropping my boyfriend's hand, I gawked at the odd scene before me.

Shaunee and Erin had already been in the trance for awhile. Aphrodite had stopped screaming, but her face resembled the Twins'. Closed eyes and shaking shoulders. Darius wasn't even holding onto her anymore. His face, too, lacked any emotion. All four of them were facing my direction like creepy dolls.

The burning feeling spread halfway up my arm. I couldn't drop Damien's hand, even if I had wanted to. My eyes slipped closed and everything natural that was left around me melted into something totally bizarre and numb.

I was back on the island, which was more than a little shocking. The sky was visible, but instead of being appropriately dark for nighttime, it was pink and orange. It looked more like a painting than anything else. I couldn't really feel my aching limb. It just pulsed at a dull throb. At first I thought I was alone on the sand, until I felt a rush of wind come rippling through my hair.

Behind me were Damien and the Twins. They were joined by the hand, and stood in a tightly knit circle. Their faces were in a more pronounced expression here than on their bodies back on the water.

A strange, woozy feeling hit me then. I wasn't inside my own body.

"Jack," a voice said that was no louder than a whisper, but I could hear it quite clearly. Aphrodite and Darius were walking towards me. They were moving pretty quickly over the rough, sand and dirt hills that had been so much harder to climb before.

"This can't be the Otherworld?" I asked them once they had reached me.

Both nodded but didn't say anything. They seemed to be more concerned with the Twins and Damien.

"Where is Zoey? Kalona?" I gestured extravagantly. I may have been a mere spirit, but this had been a desperate, yet delicate, situation.

"We haven't found them," Darius answered. "Aphrodite had a vision of us becoming trapped within this world. Then we all slid right into it."

Aphrodite kept her eyes on the circle. "It's drained the fuck out of me. Even here,"

"Well how did she even get here? She had to have been touching Erin or Shaunee,"

"Erin grasped my arm right before she left us. I couldn't shake her, and then it became too late." Aphrodite shook her head, perfect blonde hair illuminated in the odd glow of the skies.

"Watch out, Jack!" Damien's voice yelled, louder than the roar of a tiger, but somehow staying in the same normal tone of his voice. I heeded his warning and ran forward, Darius moved with me, holding Aphrodite. A large bolt of lightening came streaking down from the strange sky and zapped into the sand where I had been standing seconds before. Normally, I would have just gone into heart failure. Instead I just gawked at it like a moron.

"They're coming," Erin told us, rushing forward with Shaunee.

"Yeah. Crazy Neferet is dead." the darker girl added. Damien was watching behind me, at a collection of jagged rocks.

"That was in my vision," Aphrodite whispered. I had never seen her so weak.

"What's up with you?" Erin questioned, eyes worriedly scanning the other girl's face, which was becoming steadily paler.

"I'm human, st-stupid. This place is draining me. It doesn't help that I had the worst vision of my life right before coming here." Aphrodite tried sounding intimidating, but no one bought that.

"And what did you see, love? Please tell us," Darius tipped her head back, his strong hand cradling her chin.

Her lips quivered under his steady gaze. "Fine. I saw us all sliding into the Otherworld. And…in one version, we all get to return, because Zoey can resist Kalona. In the other version…" her voice became very soft, her eyes somber and very worried. "We all become trapped here. We never get to leave."

I wanted to cry. I'll admit that. The prospect of never being a real vampyre, never getting back to my body. Being so young, I wasn't really ready to die yet.

Looking around at all my friend's faces, I could see similar expressions of fear and sadness. Erin and Shaunee's joined hands shook. Damien wouldn't meet my eyes. Darius just held Aphrodite close, pressing soft kisses into her hair.

"Well then we have to do something. We have to help Zoey remember, remember that Heath was a victim of Kalona. That we all become his victims if she doesn't decide to banish him." Darius told us. His voice was surprisingly strong considering the news that had just been shared.

If I had tried to speak, it would have been obnoxiously squeaky and wavering. But it was one of those, it's appropriate to not speak so you don't cry moments. I must have looked like a baby deer caught in the headlights of a tractor trailer. Damien leaned over and kissed the side of my face, right by jaw.

"It'll be okay. Somehow, anyway."

"No! Don't you touch them," Stark came from nowhere, slipping over the unsteady ground. His voice was vicious and it was oddly loud, too. Everything here was amplified and had an echo.

Zoey was right with him, looking confused. I guess she hadn't known we would actually physically be there.

"Guys! What are you all doing here?" she exclaimed. I couldn't tell if she was pleased to see us or not.

"Saving your ass, again." Aphrodite mumbled against Darius. "Don't you fuck it up for us,"

"Where is he?" Erin asked, her eyes darting around Stark and Zoey for signs of the immortal Kalona.

Stark still looked angry. "He keeps hiding. He wants to lure Zoey away from me, and get her alone."

Zoey bit her lower lip. She still, somehow, was attracted to that monster. Quietly, she slid down the sand until she was beside Aphrodite.

"He'll just be part of the earth…right?" she whispered. But in this place, everything was magnified. So we all could hear them clearly.

"Stop being worried about him." Aphrodite snapped, clutching onto Darius for stability. "But yeah," she added, her eyes softening at Zoey's troubled face.

"Zoey," said a voice that can never be described by any one word. Physically, Kalona is amazing. He would be irresistible to me if I hadn't seen what he has done. If we all had never known that Kalona was a beast, an immortal, we all would have fallen for it.

But there was something in his tone that sounded different. He looked almost worried. He had always sounded mysterious, sensual even. It the part of his charm that so easily seduced people. His eyes were trained only on Zoey, who was now in tears. Aphrodite was watching the scene with an expression of fear. She knew what was going to happen. If we all were about to die, I suppose knowing wouldn't have made a difference. Knowing doesn't make it easier.

Damien's arms came from behind, and he pulled me against him. That's when several things happened at once.

Kalona screamed. It was a shrill, terrible caw that sounded oddly like his half-bird children. Zoey also yelled, but she was saying things in a language that I didn't really understand. Damien knocked us both down into the sand, which was handy because the weather in Otherworld decided to go schizophrenic on us. It rained, but the rain was hot. Lightening filled clouds swarmed above us. Shaunee and Erin came down hard into the sand.

"Damien! Take my hand. Call air," Shaunee could barely make out words over the sharp gusts of wind. Her dark skin made Damien's hand seem even paler in the odd purple light that glowed in a twilight sort of way.

They started calling the elements in unison with all the screaming. Aphrodite had collapsed, with Darius over her like a bronze, brazen shield. She was clutching her forehead which appeared to be bleeding. Everything was still amplified. My eardrums weren't going to take much more. And I had thought accidentally turning up the volume on my ipod while listening to Shakira had been painful.

"I love you," These words were whispered into my neck. I couldn't see Damien, but of course I knew it was him. But before I had a chance to answer him over the chaos, everything stopped.

Dead stopped.

There was the white light of nothingness. I felt so very lost.

"Damien? Damien?!" I felt my throat strech over my screaming, and I felt the words against my lips, but no sound was coming out.

Then someone was shaking me.

"Jack?! Wake up, please!"

I could feel again. I knew I was back inside my body, but now there was pain. So much pain. I wanted to cry out again but my throat felt ablaze.

"D-Damien…" I managed to croak before I fell out of his arms and hit the wet, hard floor of the rowboat.

* * *

That's really the end of any action scenes. They aren't my forte, so please excuse their shabbiness. Again, to avert any questions, this story is about Jack and Damien. That means I won't really elaborate on the escapades of Zoey, Aphrodite, and especially Stevie Rae. They are all used and mentioned, of course. Please Review!


	3. Blood

Rating: We will say PG13/T for now.

Warnings: Slash, language, and post-Tempted.

Note: The end of this chapter is a little risqué.

* * *

_Three. _Damien.

I didn't feel safe at all until I began to hear the ruckus of the airport. The past twelve hours had been rushed, to say the very least. Things were still cryptic. Zoey understood that she had banished Kalona. Not beneath the earth, but somewhere that his half-bird children could not follow. Those beings had scattered, thank goodness. We had collected ourselves. Well…the best we could, anyway. Zoey was very quiet, and Aphrodite wasn't herself. I think the sheer shock of waking up inside her own body, her own newly _marked_ body, had really thrown her. But we couldn't ignore it. The empty crescent moon was as clear as day. Or night, I guess. Whatever.

The airport noises were at least regular. Normal. Something we needed desperately. It had already been an eventful day, what with seeing off Heath's body and departing the council of vampyres. They still chill my bones. I was glad to see that island get smaller and smaller in the distance…

"Do you have our passports, Damien? Damien!" Shaunee snapped me out of my reverie. I had been gazing out the window in the airport terminal.

I gave myself a little shake. "Oh, of course." I doled out all the passports, holding onto Jack's. This gave us the excuse to follow behind the rest of the group.

He smiled, but there was something wrong with it. Too many things, actually.

"I know you've been a little shaken. Passing out after such an ordeal...it isn't unusual, you know." I told him.

"No, no. That isn't it."

"Well, what's wrong?"

I waited in silence as we strolled through the terminal. It wasn't crowded at all. We had a long flight ahead of us. I wasn't about to spend it with Jack, and have him be so quiet. It's an annoying trait on me, I'm sure. I have to dig into people until I know what I need to know.

"It's just…I'm tired of this. I'm tired of the danger, risking my life. Especially when I'm less of a help and more of a hi-, um, what was that word you said the other day?"

I blinked. "Oh. Hindrance?"

He grinned in his fake way again. "Yep. More of hindrance. Useless, even."

I stopped dead and grabbed a hold of his shoulders. "That, is utter bull."

The smile fell and he looked away, not meeting my eyes. But he won't go against my grasp on him, either.

"It's true…I didn't do anything this whole time but faint and sit by idly."

I brought Jack even closer to me, so that our chests were just barely touching. "You were the one to suggest we even help Zoey at all. And you were right by Dragon's side during Anastasia's funeral when almost everyone else had abandoned him." I practically growled. He had no choice but to look into my eyes now.

His own widened, but Jack didn't argue. I released his shoulders and settled for holding his hand as we surrendered our tickets to the flight attendant.

Our tiny clique was silent during the plane ride. Jack and I sat in the very front row, him taking the window seat. Beside us, the twins, and behind us, Zoey and Stark. Aphrodite and Darius were snuggled behind Erin and Shaunee, the lighter of the two falling asleep within the first fifteen minutes. I was tired too. I just couldn't get my brain to shut up. It was constantly yammering about all sorts of things. The first should have been some pleasant, normal thought. Like going back home. Or Jack. It should have even been an emotion, such as fear. Fear brought on by Kalona's mysterious whereabouts, and if he truly was gone. But, no. My insane brain was focusing in on a tiny, probably insignificant memory that had happened less than twenty-four hours ago.

It was after we had all returned to our bodies. Jack rode back to the council building unconscious. I should have knocked myself out, because the burns were incredible. I was treated separately, but once the cream Darius had used on me sunk in, I went to search for my boyfriend. I had known he was hurt. I could still picture his limp, bruised arm. In addition, he had a giant gash on his forehead from falling onto the rough floor in the boat.

I knew about the cut…before I had even seen it.

I had smelt it.

The smell of his blood had led me down the curved hallways, right to his bed. Jack had been cheery and smiley, despite his injuries. Whatever was plaguing him now, however, had to be something he was keeping from me. He was always making comments on talent. He insists that he is mediocre at everything. But all of that really is just bullshit. Whatever it is I have to do to raise his self-esteem…I'll do it.

Anyway, where was I?

Right. My new, sick, incredible fondness for Jack's blood.

There was some dried around the newly bandaged wound. I longed to taste it. I felt so disgusted with myself. I know I can't tell Jack that. He's too young for blood lust. So am I. The fact that I would find drinking from him enjoyable is just weird. It never happened before. And I find no one else's blood so appealing.

I sat in my stiff chair on the plane, thinking of ways to entirely avoid this problem. Jack would get cut again one day. What if it was deep? And I was, around? Surely someone would notice me panting like a dog in heat. Luckily, I wasn't _that_ sick yet. Knowing me though…I will be.

"I can't wait to get home." Jack whispered from beside me. He looked somewhat like his old self.

"Me either, doll. Me either!"

He laid his head to rest on my shoulder. I went to stroke his hair, and my fingers stopped on his gauze and white bandage. I was reminded again of the insanity. The stupid, warm, rapture…I blinked furiously. Ignoring this was going to be _way _harder than I had first presumed. Before Jack could comment, I went over the bandage and threaded my fingers through his soft blond hair. This was more comforting to me than anything. Even home.

We landed in New York at eleven, and boarded a jet back to Tulsa. By then, everyone was asleep.

"Thank Goddess, we're back!" This came from Aphrodite, who hadn't talked in what felt like days to me.

I looked out the window. She was right. I could see the blue and white lights of the Tulsa airport terminal.

"Jack..Jackie." I shook him lightly. "Wake up."

He shifted, eyelids slowly drifting back. "Home," he mumbled, after looking out the tiny window.

"C'mon. Let's get out of here!" Erin shouted, a goofy grin plastered on her face.

As we were walking through customs, I noticed we were all looking a little worse for wear. Broken, burnt, bandaged, and bruised. However, everyone was sporting stupid smiles like Erin's. Maybe it was the promise of something regular and safe. The House Of Night wouldn't be totally back to normal, of course. Anastasia was still deceased. Zoey was still a fledging High Priestess. Raven Mockers were still alive. Oh, and there was the issue of Stevie Rae's rogue red ones. But at an airport terminal, when your dead tired and you know you are headed home…nothing matters. It could have all been a weird dream.

The cabs were called by Lenobia, after Zoey had phoned her. We weren't waiting more than a few minutes outside before the big yellow cars pulled up to the sidewalk. Jack and I rode with the Twins. Naturally.

"I'll get that," I took Jack's bag from his hands. It had been lagging against the pavement.

He giggled, even though he was drained. "Such chivalry."

I pinched his side, lightly. "Get in the cab."

He fell asleep on me during the ride to school. But I don't mind. I never do. I even carried him to his bedroom. That had Darius protesting. I was weak from my burns, I would drop him. All wasted. I laid Jack down into his still unmade bed and then retreated to my own. All thoughts of bogeymen, dead humans, fire rain, and immortals, were shoved deep inside my sub-conscious, hidden until I had to wake again.

Which was a sad, mere five and a half hours later.

"I have the most obnoxious alarm clock." I commented to Erin as she picked at the cereal in front of her.

"Me too. It's called a Shaunee," Erin grinned widely, and received a tiny punch on the arm from her best friend.

"Well I thought you'd wanna wake up, since we are all supposed to meet with Dragon and Lenobia." Shaunee muttered and added in a flippant eye roll. "Guess not."

Erin punched her back. "I also want to look my best. I've felt horrible for weeks!"

"Good point twin."

Their chatter stopped once Zoey entered the tiny kitchenette. "Morning." She squinted, looking around. "Where's Jack?"

"Excellent question. I'm pretty sure he's still totally knocked out," I answered, pouring out juice for everyone.

Erin and Shaunee clinked their glasses together after I had filled them. "Thank you, Mother Damien."

My eyes narrowed. "Stop speaking in unison."

Erin pretended to look offended. "Stop being our Mum!"

"Everyone, shush." Zoey said, holding her hands out in a referee gesture. "Go get Jack up. Aphrodite is coming down, and Darius and Stevie Rae are meeting us in Dragon Lankford's study."

That was easier said than done. But Jack was oddly coaxed out of slumber after I kissed him a few thousand times or so. He wouldn't let me stick around while he dressed, but we went back downstairs together.

"I wonder what Lenobia wants to see all of us for." Jack said as we followed our friends down the hall. There was a tiny note of excitement in his voice.

"Probably to talk about what happened…ask about our injuries." I wanted to reach out and hold his hand again, like at the airport. However, some weird feeling kept me from doing just that.

It was Lenobia who greeted us, before we even entered the study. She shooed us towards nine old leather armchairs settled around a giant wooden desk.

"I apologize for not greeting you all last night," she spoke as we all took our seats. "I assumed everyone needed a bit of shut eye,"

"We need a whole day full," Aphrodite yawned and stretched out against the back of her chair.

"Soon." Dragon Lankford said from behind us. "I wanted to thank you all personally for banishing Kalona. I'm sure you all had a part in the battle."

He set his hand down gently onto Jack's shoulder. I almost burst out laughing at his blushing, and how he seemed to fold right in on himself.

Dragon removed his hand and began to encompass our semi-circle.

"Of course, Zoey…your amazing powers and talent are no secret to the world, now. In particular, the vamp council. They have decided that you will remain a student here…but will assist Lenobia and I on matters of the House of Night, as Neferet is no longer with us."

Zoey's eyes went the size of dinner plates. Mine would too.

Lenobia, who was seated behind Dragon's large oak desk, smiled demurely.

"Most importantly, you will help with the rituals and continue your Presidential position within the Dark Daughters organization." she said firmly. "I would like to try to turn the lives of the students and staff back to normal."

Dragon looked away, through his large Venetian windows and out over the grounds. I flash-backed to Anastasia's funeral pyre and felt my heart crash into my other organs.

"Or, as close as possible." Dragon whispered.

Lenobia's head bowed, and I heard her mutter a small blessing to Nyx. But when she started speaking again, she did so as if nothing had occurred.

"Now, I've rearranged some of your class schedules. Most of the courses will remain the same. We have a temp filling in Neferet's classes, and the young Mr. Night is still teaching drama." Lenobia rose out of her seat and began passing out schedules.

"Our arrangements," Stevie Rae began, but Lenobia stopped her.

"Will be taken care of soon."

Stevie Rae closed her mouth and was the only one besides Stark who didn't get a paper. I suppose it is too hard to have the red fledglings live like us. But the way Stevie Rae maintained her cool expression told me she had her own ideas for her students. Aphrodite looked over elated to be shoved back into school. She was excitedly showing Darius her schedule when her smile faltered a bit. They began discussing his route now that we had returned, but in hushed voices.

Lenobia glanced at the giant, towering clock over Dragon's fireplace. "Half past. You all might want to get ready for school to resume."

The Twins began fussing over what to wear with their uniforms, and where their old boyfriends would be sitting at during mealtimes. Jack grinned up at me, waving his schedule.

"I was put into a few advanced classes!" he beamed. I pecked his cheek as we walked back to the dormitories.

"I tell you all the time that you're smart. And now you have copious amounts of life experience to back it up!" I couldn't help it, I beamed right back at him.

My happiness usually depends on his. That has _such _a potential backfire factor.

I pushed open the door to my bedroom, Jack walking in ahead of me.

"Do you think I'll need extra paper? Probably…that new Prof could be tougher than that old skank woman Neferet," Jack rambled, shuffling through the drawers of my desk, on the hunt for notebooks. Notebooks that I knew weren't there.

"Top shelf," I gestured to the cabinet beside him.

"Thanks!" he took two. "You know, I really like Dragon. I know I wasn't picked by him, but I'm glad he thought of me. Even if it wasn't in words."

Jack walked over to me. I was sitting on my bed, leaning back halfway and propped up by my elbows. There was a clean uniform tucked away in my wardrobe, calling my name, much like the alarm clock beside my bed. They both seemed to scream, '_Damien, you have no time for this nonsense!' _But that was failing indeed. It probably is unusual how Jack can sense these types of things. Because, I have no need to pull him closer. I don't have to settle him onto my lap. He does all this himself.

His soft, petal like lips brush against the base of my neck. "It's almost time for school," he adds, sounding like the sensible part of my brain. However, he then pressed his lips into mine, much like the insane part of my brain wanted him to do. I grabbed a better hold onto his narrow hips and they shifted beneath my touch. Most people thought we did way more than this. In fact, we're practically a running gay sex joke to everybody who isn't personal with us. But that is far from reality.

I've felt Jack…against me, but that was really the extent of the contact. It wasn't as if he didn't…excite me or anything. Because he does. Always. Usually by doing the most normal, non-sexual of things.

His delicate, long fingered hand inched its way up my shirt and tugged my left nipple.

Well, maybe not so normal, or that non-sexual. The point was...well, I'm not sure if I had one.

I put my own mouth against Jack's neck, raining down soft kisses until I reached the top of his collarbone. Shock settled in. This couldn't be happening to me. I could feel blood pulsing through his jugular vein. I could smell it. I would never cut into that, oh Goddess no…but an incision, slightly deep into the supple, pale flesh on his neck…

"Jack. We need to go to class." It was abrupt and sounded deadpan cold.

He pulled away from me, his hand falling out from under my polo. He looked surprised…a little hurt? Maybe. My heart pained for the second time that day.

"It's our first time back in awhile. We should be on time, and you need to go change," I gestured towards his jeans.

"Oh. You're right, I guess." he pecked my cheek. "Geez, just don't tease me next time, kay'?" he smiled lightly and left my dorm, closing the door quietly behind him.

* * *

Reviews? Thanks.


	4. Mystery

Rating: We will say PG13/T for now.

Warnings: Slash, language, and post-Tempted.

* * *

_Four. _Jack.

I still felt shaky going back to my room. I don't want to be corny and say that Damien can take my breath away. Well, technically, I thought that anyway. But I never said it. It just felt weird that he pushed me away. He was right, sure. Classes were about to start. But I knew he wanted me…then, suddenly, Damien just seemed frantic. His eyes looked anywhere but at mine. But, I was a good little Jack. No begging and pawing to stay in my boyfriends lap. I know when I'm not wanted!

Although, it just feels like that I'm not wanted more and more often. Sigh.

I changed quickly. All my uniforms were clean still, having not worn them in awhile. They had time to all be laundered at once. I tried not to think about Damien. How my legs felt, wrapped around his waist…Right. No thinking. It's a good thing classes started again. Maybe I can throw myself into my studies. Become a scholar! Like Damien.

Oh poop.

There was no time to eat, even though I was starving to death. I hoped that maybe I could just lose a few pounds from all this self-induced torture, but hope springs eternal. Blah. I hate not having any classes with my older, smarter fledging friends. Zoey wouldn't even be around. She only had to take two courses apparently, and they were much more advanced than mine. Which are also somehow advanced. That all made me feel even less intelligent.

First period was a total bust. Vamp Sociology. The substitute wasn't at all fit to stand in. She looked young. But Erik was young, too, and he was a fantastic teacher. So odd. After that came a brand new literature class, with a focus on the late 17th, early 18th centuries. It seemed as boring as the lame picture on the badly bound textbook. I even started to nod off. But then a paper ball hit my cheek.

It was tiny. Subtle. It went unnoticed by the professor, whose name I couldn't even pronounce. The paper ball bounced and hit the floor to my left. I looked up into the most interesting pair of eyes. They were so brown. Too brown? Darker than even dark chocolate. That happens to be my favorite…Damien thinks its too strong, which is ridiculous…all these dumb things pop in and out of my head. The truth was, I just wanted to ignore those eyes. They were playful, cute even. I had no idea who he was.

Then a square of perfectly folded notebook paper skidded against my shoe. It was from the same pair of eyes. I finally looked at him. Long enough to actually see him. Blond. Very tall. Narrow shoulders. His hair fell into those eyes. His uniform fit him oddly. The jacket was too short. The pants were much too tight, and the ends were folded into a pair of what looked like moccasins. I blinked and tried to ignore the note.

Minutes passed by and I figured that he had just given up. The professor seemed to be really into lectures, and just kept droning on. My dozy state returned when another paper ball pinged off my cheek. When I looked this time, he was smiling. I'm pretty stupid. I smiled back and picked up the square. With my luck, I thought, it was a promise to beat me up in the bathrooms or something. I was expecting that, so what was really written was somewhat surprising.

_Hey._

_I'm Shaun. New kid, haha. Actually, I was new a few days ago and I've never seen you before. Usually that seat is empty. What's your name?_

It didn't make sense. I don't have any friends in my own year. They all basically ostracized me, before for my gayness, and then for the entire immortals thing. No one loved him anymore…but still. People can stay pissed forever, even when they know that they are wrong.

Quickly I scribbled out,

_Ya…I was sorta involved in the whole world is ending business, if you've heard of it. My name is Jack._

Was I supposed to add my last name? Oh well. I folded and slid it, just as Shaun had done. Unlike me, he picked up immediately and replied just as fast. It was back by my shoe in no time.

_I have…wow. That's pretty amazing. Actually, I would love to hear about it from someone who was there. Maybe after dinner?_

After his question there was what looked like a face. Winking at me. I had to suppress the urge to groan. I can't even attend classes without something out of the ordinary occurring.

The bell rang, a gift from Nyx I'm sure. But Shaun followed me into the hall. He was taller than I had first presumed. I barely came up to his chest. He watched me struggle with my new backpack, a smile on his face that added a shiny gleam to those rich, brown eyes.

"Jack, is it?" Nothing to tip you off, there. Nope. He could be totally straight.

I tried to grin. It wasn't nearly as illuminating. "Yeah. Jack Twist."

His smile widened. "Isn't that from _Brokeback Mountain_?"

Tell him that you have absolutely no idea what he is talking about. Flee. Lie. Do anything! Goddess, I was so dumb.

"Um, yes."

"That's pretty cute." Shaun winked. In real life, not on paper this time. I felt my left eye twitch. "I didn't change my name. Kept it nice and dull."

We started walking. There had to be a giant, fiery red label on us now. But no one noticed. No one seemed to care. A little bit of tension left my shoulders, which had hunched on instinct. I don't trust any man but Damien. And Darius. Oh, and Erik…but anyway…

"Oh? What is it?"

"Last? Kapstofka. Old as hell for a name. I figured it sounded fine." Shaun shrugged, leading me in the total opposite direction of where I needed to be.

"Different." I said, and he smiled at that too. My knees buckled. What was going on?

He stopped halfway towards the room where Erik was teaching drama. "Look, I'm in here now…then I have Dragon. Can we talk after that?"

Shaun was so smiley. So pleasant. How did he find me? Did I have a label that said 'faggot' on a body part that was somehow invisible to my eyes? He was flirting. I'm not blind. Thoughts of Damien pushed through my brain. _You are taken, moron!_ But then, thoughts of his strange expressions…his stiff, rigid look that he seemed to get now whenever we were alone. Whenever we touched beyond what most people got to see. Those memories took over, and I said something that surpasses all of my other dumb, blond moments-, the dumb Jack moments.

"Kay'. Sounds cool."

The brown eyed boy winked once again and disappeared into Erik's classroom.

At dinner, I felt guilty. I knew that I shouldn't. Damien spoke to people outside of our little circle. I spent most of the meal picking at my spinach salad.

"I can't believe that they are letting your _lover_ stay," Damien chuckled from beside me.

He was talking to Aphrodite. Lenobia had decided that Darius could stay at the House of Night as the one and only security guard. He should return to the Sons of Erebus, but apparently he was being suspended. For now. Aphrodite spoke of their relationship in terms of centuries.

"Hey. He saved all our asses out there, not just mine." she said, and added a hair flip. "I wouldn't be the only one missing him,"

"True story," Erin agreed; Shaunee nodded.

"What's up with Old Okie, by the way?" Aphrodite asked Zoey around her water goblet.

Zoey seemed distracted. "Oh, she's with Stark…they are trying to convince Lenobia to make tunnels to the underground so that the other fledglings can have classes too."

"But they could be here, with us. When it's dark." Damien questioned, his brow furrowing. Kinda cute.

Zoey just shrugged. "Our schedule sometimes dips into daylight. They don't want to risk it."

"Okie said that some of those kids don't even want to learn. She said that mixing us all would cause a new brand of fucking hell," Aphrodite stabbed into her salad with force. A carrot leaped out.

"It's possible," Zoey mumbled. I'd ask her what was up, but I wasn't exactly her confidant. She has too many men up for that job.

Speaking of men…

Shaun was visible from my seat at the table. His back was facing my direction, but I remembered his shaggy mess of dark blond hair. He kept tossing it up and away from his eyes. Lots of laughing. Shaun was eating with both girls and guys, and was completely friendly to them all. So why flirt with me? To mess with me? Maybe he thought he'd score. It's not hard to ask around…find out who is out of the closet. Damien and I were the only male and male couple that were known. He had time to figure that out.

It could be possible. _Hey, you…any real fags walking around? Oh sure. Jack and Damien have been together for months. _I was always a big flaming target. He could have a motive. To hurt me, maybe. Or screw around…maybe he didn't want everyone to know that he liked guys. Or maybe he didn't give a flying poopie. I could just be a mark for him either way.

I could make up excuses to hate Shaun. A thousand of them. But what was I going to do if he proved every last one false?

* * *

Yeah, it's a little short. Consider it a filler. Reviews please.


	5. Birthday

Rating: Has been bumped up to an M. Sigh...that didn't last long!

Warnings: Slash, language, and post-Tempted.

Note: I do not care when Damien's actual birthday is XD.

* * *

_Five._ Damien.

Once classes began, time seemed to fly by. I had mountains of work to catch up on. We all did. Who knew that saving the world resulted in a backflow of essays and research papers? The new professors weren't working out. That seemed to be adding to everybody's stress. Zoey, especially. Hiring new teachers was one of the tasks burdened upon her by Lenobia. I don't see how she can fit that in addition to Dragon's request, which was to reinstate the Dark Daughters & Sons. I understood that it was all for the greater good and for the benefit of the students, but…really? Zoey wasn't an adult vamp yet. And they did the same to Stevie Rae…although her plans were moving along much faster than Zoey's.

I hadn't had much time to be with Jack. In a sick way, this pleased me. The less time I spent around him, the more moments I had to convince myself that his blood wasn't pleasing. It was hard. Impossible, really. Thinking of his blood only turned me onto Jack even more. I knew that sex was out of the question.

However, it was close to the end of the spring term. I didn't want my birthday to be a big hurrah. I was much too involved with my closeted psychosis and my vamp soc paper. But nothing gets by Jack. Or the Twins. I woke up on the last day of April to silver and black streamers hung all over my furniture. Balloons drifted upwards, ricocheting off the paneled ceiling. I smiled dazedly, almost forgetting the reason. When I popped up into a sitting position, I saw Jack smiling at me. He was resting against the baseboard, holding a cupcake. It was obviously vanilla. Thick, white icing was piled up so high that it stuck to the edges of its aluminum wrapper. Stuck right in the cake's center was a big, fat white candle. It wasn't lit.

"Happy birthday!" he greeted me cheerfully. I almost had a coronary when he jumped up and flattened himself against my chest.

I smiled anyway. "Thanks, doll." And I kissed his forehead.

Jack climbed off and sat down beside me. He removed a dark blue lighter from his pocket and lit the wick of the single candle.

"Make a wish,"

My eyes slipped closed. What to even wish for? I had to have a constipated expression on while thinking, because Jack giggled.

"Not too hard though, kay babe?"

I stuck my tongue out at him.

_I wish that I could love Jack without any restrictions. Any fears. And I know it isn't just his blood. Maybe something is just wrong with me…_

I blew out the tiny flame and Jack kissed me. Too hard…I was still clutching the cupcake, my other hand wound tight around his back. Luckily, Jack was the one to pull away.

"Happy birthday. Again." he laughed and took some of the icing off the top of the cake with his finger, which he then licked clean.

Something about that made my skin flush. I unwrapped the cake proceeded to eat it so Jack couldn't do it again.

"I love you," I tried saying, but it came out garbled as I choked the cupcake down.

Jack made a face. "Small bites, dear. And I love you too." he glanced at his watch. "You better get dressed and come downstairs. Present time,"

With that, he pecked my cheek and elegantly shifted his body over mine so that he could leave me to dress alone. A very heated part of me wanted him there anyway. Then maybe I just wouldn't get dressed at all.

Oh damn it. I had never been a horny guy. Some males are always horny. Me? On occasion. But with this bloodlust, it was just increasing too rapidly for my standards. I just couldn't blame it all on that, though. There was something restricting me from Jack. But whatever it was…it was my problem. Not his. Right.

I threw away the cake wrapper and burnt out candle. Digging through my drawers produced a clean red t-shirt and an old pair of jeans. Ripped up and worn, but comfortable. There wasn't much else I could do after spraying a bunch of deodorant on so I didn't smell like the pervert I felt like. Nothing to hinder the tiny party that awaited me downstairs. I sighed and slowly walked into the living area. Sure enough, they were all grouped over in the corner. A small pile of gifts lay helter-skelter on the end table. Even Stevie Rae and Stark had made it up from their tunnel project. That added a little pop to my step as I came up behind them.

"Finally, the princess graces us with his presence!" Aphrodite threw a grey and white envelope at me. I caught it.

"Thanks," I tore it open. Gift cards to Abercrombie. I snorted.

"Happy birthday," she added, albeit quietly.

Stevie Rae moved aside so that I could sit down in the tiny space beside her. "Happy birthday, darlin'. I warn ya…gift cards." she grinned and handed me the bright pink envelope. It was covered in stickers.

I was much more pleased to find that these cards were all for bookstores. I hugged Stevie Rae close, mumbling thanks. Everyone else had similar gifts. The Twins gave me the pair of shoes I had been admiring while skimming through their catalog collection. Zoey gave me all sorts of gift cards in addition to new notebooks.

"I know I'm always taking yours," she grinned sheepishly. I hugged her too.

Stark even gave me a card, despite our being merely acquaintances. It was time for their tiny party. The same streamers and balloons that had been placed in my room decorated the corner of the living room in the same fashion. A tray of the same cupcakes were on the table, too. Although the one Jack had served me was diabetic in the icing department, compared to the rest of the cakes. He hadn't given me a gift yet, which was worrying. Not that I was fretting over getting one or not. I was anxious over what Jack had done and/or gotten that needed to be received in private.

"…and we haven't even gotten the blueprints for the actual classrooms yet," Stevie Rae was explaining to the Twins.

"Don't some of the fledgings like us though?" Erin asked, her sculpted eyebrows raised.

Shaunee nodded. "Why should they be punished, for a few bad seeds?"

Stevie Rae 's smile was worn. "I just can't separate everyone. It will cause tension."

"She's right. The kids have to feel equal somehow." I interjected. Stevie Rae grinned over at me.

Erin shrugged. "Well as long as we all get along."

Zoey was the only quiet one. Stark and Jack were discussing Duchess's new habit of shoe murder.

I got up and sat beside her, but she didn't even seem to notice. Too caught up, I suppose.

"Zoey, what's wrong?"

She jumped a little. It was like she hadn't even noticed that I was there. "Nothing! Enjoy your party, silly. Don't worry about me." Zoey smiled wanly.

I shook my head. "No way. Tell me what's up. No secrets, remember?" I nudged her shoulder, and she sighed.

"It's just all this new stress. I thought I would be stress and problem free once Kalona and Neferet were finished." her forehead was lined. "I was wrong. How can I worry about classes when I have to hear complaints about the substitutes and staff a new Dark Daughters & Sons?" Zoey grumbled, rubbing at her temples.

"Well, you can always count on me. I wouldn't mind being on that council." I offered, feeling warmed when she looked a little happier.

"Thanks Damien. I probably will count on you. I just can't add all my friends though, so you might be alone in that category." she half winced, as though expecting me to object.

"No prob!"

Zoey leaned over and embraced me again. "Thanks. And happy birthday!"

I was about to assure her that it was all good when Aphrodite announced that although freak time was fun and educational, Darius was waiting for her. The Twins had plans with who they referred to as, the _perfect_ men. That left only Zoey, who excused herself after Jack came over and sat beside us for awhile. Once she left, I felt the warmth of his fingers lope with mine.

"Your present is upstairs in my dorm," he tittered, nuzzling close to my neck. I couldn't help it. My breath hitched.

But Jack's body went slightly rigid. I looked up to see why. A guy was standing in front of us. I had never seen him before in my life. He was tall, blond, and had an acoustic guitar draped over his shoulder. Cute, sure. But he had that look. You know, the one that just screams 'I can be a total douche bag'.

"Oh…hey, Shaun." Jack said with much less enthusiasm in his voice. This oddly pleased me.

Shaun glanced at me, looking curious. "Hey,"

"Um, what's up?" Jack asked, looking the boy up and down. His eyes were wide.

"Just wanted to know if you had those notes from yesterday." he sounded casual. But I could tell from his tone. He hated that Jack was looking cozy with me. I had to subdue a growl.

Yes. A growl.

"Oh, no. I'm sorry. I was a space case yesterday!" Jack grinned.

Shaun joined him, but it seemed weighted. "Sure. Thanks anyway." And he left, not for the dorms, but into the school. I watched him, but Jack stared straight ahead.

"Who was that loser?" I snorted, Shaun's blond bobbing head still visible.

Jack just shrugged. "A guy in a few of my classes. He's new."

"Does he like girls or boys?" I pinched Jack's side lightly, trying to get him out of his weird little mood.

It worked and he giggled. "Who cares? C'mon, I gotta give you your gift!" Jack grasped my hand and we headed for his dorm.

He barged in. I usually forgot that he was as roommate-less as me. I had started to get a little worried, but it subsided once Jack placed a box in my hands. We sat on top of his bed, him in his signature little way with his legs curled beneath him. The box was wrapped in that silvery paper and bound with a big, black velvet bow. Everything had a color scheme. Jack had to have planned that-, probably with help from the Twins. I yanked the bow off and undid the neat packaging. It was a brand new mp3 player, with ten times the memory of my old one.

Jack looked passionate about the tiny gadget. "I already set it up so all your old music is on it already. I know you would have preferred it in black, but they didn't have any left." he shrugged, watching my face for any signs of dislike. I had none. Instead, I pulled him against me.

"It's wonderful. You didn't have to do that,"

"Of course I did! You've needed to update your old sluggo one," he laughed against me. It felt amazing.

"Sluggo, really?" He nodded. "Well thank you," I kissed him twice. One on his forehead, the other was a soft touch of lips.

"Mmm…prove your thank yous, birthday boy." his breath tickled seductively over my cheekbone. His lips captured my left earlobe and began to bite in a fierce attack. My spine tingled.

"Careful what you wish for," I murmured against his neck. I dug my teeth into his throat without thinking. I couldn't pull away without it looking obvious. That familiar, overwhelming panic was setting in. I had the urge to either bite down or shove Jack away. Both choices were just not possible. So instead, I let him take control of me.

He seemed puzzled at first. I usually controlled these types of things. For a moment, Jack hovered there, half in my lap, half on his bed. He was gnawing on his lower lip. I needed him closer…I could draw him into me, I knew it…Jack looked up. His beautiful, usually doe-like eyes were half-lidded. He sat up on top of my hips and pushed me back into his mattress. His lips met mine again, but this time his tongue darted out to prod my lips open. He wasn't even shy about exploring my mouth and I was equally eager to push back against him. Jack took my hand, which had been looped around his waist, and brought it downwards to that I could hold onto his backside instead. His hips ground into mine, lightly, but I felt his hard-on. This was getting way too R-rated for my silly, questioning brain. Why not just do what I wanted? Take Jack. I could have done it. But I didn't want too. Something just screamed inside me that what was occurring couldn't go further.

However, that didn't mean it had to stop. I could keep this pace. I fought back against Jack's tongue, which had been twirling against my own. His hands were everywhere, caressing underneath my t-shirt, nails raking over my abdomen. I was stiffening, it felt uncomfortable against the fly of my jeans. Jack's eyes darted down to my pants and his hands clasped the cold metal of my belt buckle.

"No…" I mumbled, breathless and feeling moronic. He was sitting on top of me. I knew what we both needed.

But it wasn't going to happen.

He seemed surprised. "But, why? You want it…" he rocked his hips into mine. "I can feel that you do."

"It just…it can't happen now. Okay?" I wriggled against Jack until he slid off, back onto his unmade bed.

Now he looked utterly hurt, and a little embarrassed. His erection was visible through his pants.

"Damien..I don't under-,"

I cut him off by standing up.

"Thanks for the mp3. I love you…I just have a lot of work to do," I said oddly. I went to kiss him but thought better of it. I headed for the exit.

This felt too weird. Like déjà vu. Only, it wasn't him leaving casually this time. It was me, storming out harshly and slamming the door in my wake.

* * *

Thanks for all the reviews guys :). Please review!


	6. Pause

Rating: M.

Warnings: Slash, language, and post-Tempted.

Happy Holidays! :).

* * *

_Six._ Jack.

Summer was approaching way too quickly for my tastes. I really couldn't grasp that we had all even made it to the end of term. I was still getting over the immortals business. But you can't stay caught up like that, I guess. Not moving on. Just accepting. What I wasn't gonna accept was Damien's odd behavior and attitude. At first, it would come and go. Now he was moody almost all the time. He turned into one of those people you felt that you had to spend time with, even if you knew it wasn't going to be very enjoyable.

I had ignored the little birthday incident. Not many people would! I probably shouldn't have let my anger on that build up. That isn't very healthy.

The last day of the semester was rushed and made me sweat a lot. So very miserable.

"Jack, can I see your textbook?" Shaun asked me as I was pacing in the hallway. I wasn't alone. Everyone was studying for the exam that awaited us in literature.

"It's in my bag," I pointed at the satchel near my foot. I didn't need the stupid book. Damien had helped me make a study sheet.

"Thanks." Shaun quickly looked through the large textbook.

The substitute wasn't proctoring our test. Professor Penthesilea had returned. She swept into the hall without making a single sound, so it was expected when everyone jumped at her words.

"Please enter the classroom. Remain calm, this isn't an exam like in human schools." she said and gestured us inside.

Shaun sat beside me. He followed me around, no matter where I moved. I suppose I had to learned to expect that from him. It wasn't as if Shaun had made any moves. Um, not to assume about his sexuality or anything. It was still unclear.

"Good luck, Jack." Shaun grinned and then faced forward.

I didn't respond. Too worked up, probably. No. Definitely. What pissed me off the most was that Damien was going to do great on his papers. Stress never bothered his academic ability. It shattered mine.

The first question was easy.

_1. This early Renaissance author preformed in several masques, including the blackballed _12 Daughters of Niger_._

A name. Simple. But I'm pretty slow on tests. Questions get more detailed, and my answers become more bullpoopie. Shaun didn't seem to have any problem. His pen moved at a way faster speed than mine. He never looked off his paper, mulling about his answers like I had been doing. I was three away from finishing the exam when I came to the one that killed me:

_20. The Enlightenment influenced many things in literature. Please list several and explain them in detail._

I knew satires were popular. Status and gain. But I could only go so far with those ideas. So, I spent my last five minutes enjoying the lovely, plastic taste of my pen cap.

"All finished?" Professor P smiled from behind the large, mahogany desk.

Everyone made nice for her, grinning like sheep. I felt miserable and I'm sure my face wasn't hiding that. She instructed us to leave the answer sheets on top of the desk and then head off to eat. The semester was over. We had a few weeks break before classes started again in July. No long, beautiful stretches of time…I almost longed _not_ to be a vamp fledging. Then I could actually chill for once. But I know I wouldn't rather be anywhere else on earth. The House of Night was my home now.

"Ohhh did I nail that test!" Shaun did a jump-and-skip movement beside my slow death march.

"Lucky for you," I grumbled, dragging my backpack. It was a thousand times heavier than it had been before the literature exam.

His mood wavered a bit. "Was it that bad?"

"I missed the last three."

"Aw, it'll be fine. Professor P is grading. Not that lame sub." Shaun reminded me as we entered the dining room.

I merely nodded. One quick look around and I already could tell that Damien wasn't back yet. Actually, none of my friends were sitting at our usual table. It was totally vacant. I felt my stomach stiffen. I quickly searched for Shaun's friends…but they were nowhere to be seen. Why were my palms sweating? He was merely just a guy. I loved Damien. I had to think of some excuse, something to say. But it was inevitable…

"You want to sit with me?" Shaun asked. My head exploded. Okay, it didn't. But it should have.

"Oh. Yeah." I blurted out. Shaun looked entirely too pleased by my answer.

He grabbed me by the wrist and led me to a spot in the room I had never noticed. A corner area. We sat our stuff down there before getting dinner. I knew I wouldn't be able to eat the Asian salad I had chosen, but I didn't want to look as freaked out as I felt. When I wasn't at the House of Night, I had been pretty forward…but I suppose getting my first real set of best friends and a boyfriend had diminished my need for that. Well, and the fact that I basically uber fail in front of all these kids.

Stupid Shaun and his stupid, surfer boy look. He just had to be real smart, too, didn't he?

We sat back down in the corner. Luckily, Shaun doesn't need much baiting to lead the conversation. I pushed him into talking about his old life. It's something he babbles on about and I only have to nod.

"…and my friend, Zach…I told you about him, remember?" Shaun had paused in his story, wide eyes watching me.

I shook my head yes.

"Yeah, ok. Well then he decided we should go up on the boardwalk. All the other guys were bitching you know? About the waves and shit. But if you know someone as hot as Ashlee Simpson is gonna be at some dumb opener…you say fuck the surf!" Shaun nearly choked on his sandwich. I thought I talked a lot.

"Haha. Yeah." I froze.

Ashlee Simpson? Hot? My body relaxed a tenfold. There had been a few moments where I had thought he liked me…and that maybe I liked him a little back. But if he was straight, then it didn't matter. I could focus on fixing Damien and me. Back to how we used to be! Unless Shaun was bisexual.

Nah.

"Don't agreeee, Mrs. Maslin." Shaun punched me lightly on the arm. "It's chill though."

I laughed with him. I guess I did feel better in the sense that my nerves subsided, but in a way I was oddly upset. At myself. I had enjoyed the idea of Shaun having a crush on me. And that made me feel guilty, because maybe I was lacking something with Damien. This whole life crap was starting to piss me off. And I'm just not a fan.

I hadn't noticed Zoey entering the dining room at all. She was under my radar, until of course she was sitting beside me. Her eyes flickered between me and Shaun curiously. A tugging smile lifted her mouth a little, and I tensed up again. I had not made it a priority to introduce Shaun around to anyone else I talked to. I had been praying he would just give up on me in general.

"Hey Jack. Who's this?" Zoey inclined her head towards Shaun.

Shaun fussed with his fork and napkin before reaching out to grasp Zoey's wrist in greeting.

"I'm Shaun. I already know you, Zoey," he grinned that very charming smile he usually saved for me. Or at least, I had thought it had been for me?

Zoey just laughed softly and scooted closer to me. "I'm sorry we never met then. Jack's never introduced you."

Shaun poked my ribcage. Hard.

"Ouch! Goddess," I hissed, rubbing my side. He just laughed at me.

"I guess I'm an embarrassment," Shaun sounded very proud at the prospect.

"Oh, it doesn't seem that way." Zoey said, watching him carefully.

Shaun tossed his blond hair up and away from his face, not noticing her eyes on him at all. He excused himself after that, to my grand relief. My knees were bouncing off each other under all the stress. I'm sure I brought most of that on myself. In fact I know so. I just couldn't help but wonder if Zoey somehow knew that I had the tiniest bit of feelings for Shaun. I knew that sounded impossible, but…weirder things have happened.

"So…you hang out with him a lot?" she said, not looking at me. It sounded like a question.

I prodded my food. It was barely half-eaten. "Yeah…we just hang out sometimes in Literature…library. Boring stuffs,"

Zoey nodded. "He's cute. Does he have a girlfriend?"

"No. I don't think so."

"Oh, I see." her eyes were shiny. She was thinking the exact opposite of what I had wanted to achieve. She knew. Well, she was at least very close to that idea.

"It's not like that, you know. I can have guy friends that I don't crush on!" I tried sounding serious but the last few words came out squeaky.

Zoey just shrugged. "Of course you can. But to be honest, Jack, I don't think he just wants to be fri-, oh hey, Damien."

I jumped at her speech break. Damien had quietly approached us. He looked uber tired, complete with dark rings underneath his pretty eyes. Suddenly I wanted to be alone with him forever. No other people, especially boys. No temptations. That sounded amazing.

"Why the table migration?" he asked quietly, and threw a glance over his shoulder. Our regular dinner haunt was still empty.

"We were just chatting with Jack's friend," Zoey said nonchalantly. "Shaun."

Damien's eyes narrowed. "That guy in your Lit class?"

I nodded. "I didn't have anyone else to eat with." It had been true.

"Hey, the Twins are back. I'm going to get food with them." Zoey awkwardly slid away from me and booked it, far away from the isolated corner.

Damien sat down beside me. "I'm glad we get a break."

"Me too."

He sighed, reaching up to gently touch my cheek. I didn't mean to flinch. I-, I…I just _did_.

Damien's hand retracted so fast it was as if it had been attached to a coil spring. "I know I've been a little moody and standoffish. I'm sorry. I just,"

"You can't stand being around me for more than an hour." I said simply. He looked shocked.

"Wh-what?"

"You either get a headache, or you get sleepy, or you have to study…" I sighed. Anger wasn't my forte, but it was inside me somewhere. It was merely bubbling below my anxiety.

"Well all those things are true. They aren't just excuses, Jack," Damien was irritated again.

I hate that. Why do I just make him mad? Everything I say and do, even if it is sincere, just makes him angry. Then he can't talk about it! Jeez.

"Look. Something is very wrong between us…I think it is me, I really do. You don't want to even kiss me anymore…" my voice caught in my throat.

"It isn't that I don't want to. I just can't," Damien said, his voice peppered with some emotion I couldn't name.

"I really don't wanna break up. I don't. I do love you. But I think now that we have some time off, maybe we should leave each other alone for awhile."

If I could…I'd have another me. An invisible, smarter me that would follow the real Jack around and punch him before he fucked up, rather than after. The look on Damien's face was one I had never thought I could cause. It had to be devastation. And that made me want to cry. Openly and in public. Too bad for anyone who was looking. But Damien doesn't really express things that way, so his sad look evaporated.

"If that's what you want, fine."

"Okay."

It was all I managed. And digging my nails against my kneecaps was all I could keep from not grinding down my water glass between my clenched teeth.

* * *

Eh. I'm not feeling these last two posts, haha. Oh well. This is my baby pet project. Anyway, I hope everyone reading enjoys it. The literature questions on Jack's test are copied from one of my old exams. And I don't actually think Ashlee Simpson is hot XD. It's a running joke between me and a friend. Reviews? Kthnx.


	7. Tongue Tied

Rating: M.

Warnings: Slash, language, and post-Tempted.

* * *

_Seven. _Damien.

"Earth to Damien…Damien!" I felt a pillow smack hard against my jaw.

"Ouch!"

Stevie Rae stood a few feet from me, a battered old pillow that had obviously came from the sofa clutched in her hand. It sagged over onto the floor, and a tiny hole had been leaking stuffing.

"Well dangit, pay attention when I'm tryin to talk some sense into you!" she stamped her foot.

I couldn't find anything to say. I had not been paying attention to her little speech at all. Not when it was professed over dinner, and not as we walked back from the dining room. I had been way too preoccupied while eating. Jack and Shaun had sat together. Alone. That blond, brown eyed home wrecker didn't stop gazing at Jack all through the meal. As if my (not ex…I refuse to say that) sort-of-separated boyfriend was the dessert course. Everything about Shaun made me sick. Not that I'm jealous, or biased or anything. I hated him before. Anyway, on the way back I was much too focused on my hatred for that promiscuous surfer slut to even acknowledge Stevie Rae at all. So, I suppose it was legit that she was so upset.

"I apologize. I just…I hate watchi-," I stopped midway through. Jack and Shaun sailed by the open door to the dormitories, the latter rubbing onto Jack's petite backside.

Stevie Rae had seen it too. Her eyes glistened when she turned back around, like she was going to cry for me. Gee, is it getting that pathetic?

"I'm so sorry, Damien. If you and Jackie just talked it over, I bet things would get better,"

I shook my head. "We have tried talking. It doesn't work."

Her fingers brushed my arm. We were close together, huddled underneath the archway that lead to the girl's area.

"Well have you told him what's buggin ya?" her expression was serene. I hadn't told her about any of the problems, but I swear she already knew one.

"I want his blood." I whispered, signing against the granite. "How am I supposed to tell him that? We're too young,"

Stevie Rae smiled genially. "I knew it musta been something like that!" she playfully smacked my forearm. "It happens to everyone eventually ya know,"

"I know…but I'm way too early,"

"Just tell him. He does really love you, Damien." Stevie Rae's face became serious again. "Don't let something silly like blood come between you two. Love is a way stronger bond."

I attempted to lean backwards, and nearly smacked by head against the archway for my efforts.

"What if…_what if_ he doesn't love me anymore. Maybe he never did."

I hate saying that. I hated thinking it. But it was becoming an overwhelming possibility.

Stevie Rae looked as though she'd really like to smack me, but her hand played with her belt loop instead. "Don't even say that, especially when ya'll haven't spoken about it yet,"

"Well he never believed me, you know…when I first told him that I…" My eyes shifted from her face to objects around the hallway. "_Cared_."

"Jackie's just…well, he's a little flighty. He just needs a boost now and then!"

"A boost?" My eyebrow went upwards.

"Yeah! You need to perk up his self-esteem…and if you need him to back off a little, then explain why instead of this foolish shit,"

Stevie Rae clocked me playfully. Her smile had returned.

"Thanks. I just hope after break he'll still talk to me."

"I have no doubt that he will, Mother Damien,"

I rolled my eyes and left her in the hallway. I looked behind me as I was walking up the steps to my room, and she was still grinning widely. It made me feel a little better as I entered my cold and empty dormitory. That's when I frosted over again.

This past week had been nothing but sheer misery. It was made even worse by it being a work and homework free period. I had nothing to take my mind or my eyes off Jack and Shaun. They've become the best of friends…_retch_. I don't want to seem like a jealous idiot. And it isn't Jack's fault that I'm on his backburner now. He tried to talk to me again a few days after the finals day fiasco. But I claimed I was too busy helping Zoey make plans for the Dark Daughters & Sons council….when she didn't even give me the papers for until this morning.

Right in front of Jack.

He had looked so pissed.

I flopped down into my bed. My eyes scanned the room, looking for any sort of marking that still screamed Jack Twist. Since I've been spending almost all of summer reprieve in my dorm, I've had to debug it. I buried the hoodies he left here under my bed, and his old notes went to either my papers shredder, or I hid them under mountains of old homework assignments. Away went pictures of us. Any birthday leftovers I either popped or threw away. The only thing left out in plain view was the shiny, white and silver mp3. I listened to it every night. Call me a loser, but that is just what had to be done in order for my survival.

I knew I had brought it upon myself. That wasn't in question. The real problem laid with Shaun's presence, and whether Jack actually accepted that I loved him. Oh, and that I needed to drink from him. Really bad. Stevie Rae was right, though. Jack's self-esteem always required my full attention. He needed compliments, but he needed them reassured an hour later. He wanted to make out, but then Jack felt awkward after and wanted to know what I thought of him. What I constantly thought of everything. My answers wouldn't ever change.

_Yes, Jack, that is a stunning shirt. Yeah, I love that color on you. Yes, of course you can come. You don't need to ask. Jack, just come, don't ask. Yes I love you! Don't you get that?_

I'd rather punch myself in the face than cry. Goddess, it feels so lame to. Instead, I surrounded my body in blankets and pillows. I shoved the earbuds in and turned up the volume on the mp3. Some soft, rock ballad led me into dreamland. And I must admit it wasn't even eight o' clock yet.

The next two days went by in a similar cycle. Wake up. Stay in bed and stare. Bathe. Pick out a very coordinated, lavish outfit that would take at least an hour to plan. Pick at food. Watch the Twins parade around their new boyfriends. Wonder in misery about Jack, but look happy while doing it. Pick food again. Pretend to take advice. Sleep. Sleep was really the most important activity. And I had only had one nightmare so far, the norm being dreamless slumber. I had basically become a useless slug. But with my mind elsewhere, I wasn't suited for much else.

I became apprehensive when Zoey came to fetch me on Thursday. She had placed me within her circle, along with the Twins and Stevie Rae. That wasn't the bad part. The kicker was the first scheduled meeting was that evening.

"_What?_"I stared at her, mouth agape.

"Tonight! Be sure to look your best," Zoey called out over her shoulder as she quickly left me to drown in my cornflakes.

"Chin up, Mumsey," Shaunee smiled at me.

I grumbled something incoherent and choked down the mushy cereal.

Wondering around in my room got boring after the third hour. So, I decided some outfit construction was in order. It was nearly time when I finally decided on a pair of black pants with pinstripes. With everything on, I modeled in front of the mirror that was hung on the back of my dormitory door. I sighed at the reflection. I looked utter exhausted, even with all my ridiculous sleeping patterns.

Then a knock came from the other side of the door. One tap of knuckles, followed by silence.

I opened it slowly. Blond hair was the first thing my eyes consumed. Jack.

"Um, Damien…I was wondering if you had my hoodie somewhere in your room,"

My heart thudded manically within my chest. _Goddess, yes I have your hoodies. Please come in and never leave me ever again!_

"Which one?"

"The gray and black one…it has fur in the hood,"

I nodded and moved aside, hoping (and praying) he would come inside. I even swung the door open all the way so Jack had total access. He wandered in a little, but he obviously wanted to leave. My heart sank.

When I found the hoodie in question, I stood by my dresser and just tossed it to him.

"Thanks,"

I grunted.

"Um…you look real nice. Is that meeting tonight?"

"Yeah,"

"Are you really on the council?"

"Yep."

His bright eyes widened. "Wow. Well, good luck," Jack slowly backed out of the doorway.

_He's leaving, you ignoramus. Speak now or forever hold your peace…_

"Thanks," I mumbled. Then I let the door close over an empty space.

I wished to die. Really, I had never thought of such ridiculous notions before, but it seemed like such a simple escape. It took me forever to walk to the Dark Daughters building. I went alone, biding my time until I knew the others had left. If I believed in labels like emo I'd totally call myself it through these moments. Who decided that love and lust should hurt like hell?

"Today is just the invitational gathering, fellow students." Zoey said over the heads of about twenty fledglings.

There was no chit-chat amongst them. They had quieted at the sound of her voice.

"When there are ceremonies to be had, my circle will conduct them appropriately. The rest of you have been asked here because of your certain talents or knowledge that set you apart from others at the House of Night,"

Even I felt the waves of power she gave off. It was chilling. She explained about how anyone in the Dark Daughters & Sons could invite others, but just to be members. The council would be a few students from each year, plus an advisory panel that would assist her. It felt like politics, something I rarely enjoy. I was glad to already be a member so I wouldn't have to have some sort of crazy election. And when it was all over, I felt too relieved. But it had gone well. A girl named Karenia would be working within my sector, and another fledging male named Marcus. We were all quiet during the introductions and I felt no need to make small talk with them.

I just kept inwardly moaning at all these mistakes that I just kept repeatedly making.

* * *

Ahhh I know, the posts are getting shorter! Ack. Ah well, I enjoyed this one anyway. But Jack's up again, along with a bit of slash action. Yummm. And it's not what you think!


	8. Hot

Rating: M.

Warnings: Slash, language, and post-Tempted.

Notes: A little Jack/OC.

* * *

_Eight. _Jack.

I'm really into love songs. Particularly acoustics, but I just never talk about that. I only listen to them when I'm in weird moods. On the last day of summer break, I happened to be in one of those moods. Boys with wavering voices strumming guitars issued melodically from my iHome, which was located beside my dresser. I'm no singer. Not even a little bit. But that didn't stop me from babbling along anyway- at the very top pf my scratchy, high-pitched voice.

Good mood. Good music. But I wasn't happy, no. Just burying that bit, I suppose. I couldn't believe that we were already starting fall classes. The short span of time had been a whirlwind of emotions. Taking a break with Damien caused most of that, I knew. Without him around, I hung out with Shaun. And that proved to be more burden like than any fun. It was much, much worse though when I spent time alone. I guess I just can't handle solitude.

My thoughts and ponderings were all about Damien, of course. I second guessed that decision one million times over. I still didn't know if it was right or not. I just couldn't bring myself to call it quits. But…Damien seemed to have done that job for me. Every time I struck up a conversation with him…or tried to be around him, Damien would lie to get away from me. It burned worse than the immortal fire rain we experienced a few months ago. He has to just find me repulsive…or something. I question my clingy habits, too. But he used to find that cute! Ugh…

Then there was that Thursday…

I left a lot of crap in Damien's room. Hoodies, Cds, homework, etc. I used to be there everyday, so it never mattered if I had forgotten an item or two when I departed. But with this awkward new relationship, I stayed away from his room the entire break. I figured it was summer, I could live without any jackets or homework. That was until Shaun started asking me to walk outside with him. He kept offering his hoodies, but every time I put one on I felt weird. I needed mine back, immediately. I had crept down Damien's hall, praying to Nyx that he wasn't there.

Faint sounds of Death Cab For Cutie beat against the door. I could hear hangers clanging around. _Fiddle sticks! _He was present.

I almost ran away. Then I remembered how ooky it felt to have Shaun's smell on my arms and shoulders. My knuckles barely touched the doorframe. The ruckus stopped. A long moment passed, and I had thought Damien must have not heard my pathetic knock, when the door opened slowly. He seemed genuinely surprised to see me there- for a millisecond. Then his face went stone cold. My heart crashed into all my other organs and I wanted to leave.

"Um, Damien…I was wondering if you had my hoodie somewhere in your room?" I asked, trying to remain calm when all my body wanted to do was tremble.

Who knew two weeks apart could make you want someone so badly? I mean, we lived in the same building for Goddesses sake! I couldn't just be normal…

"Which one?" his chilled over voice asked.

"The grey and black one…it has fur in the hood," I said. Fur was a stupid choice but it was the first article that came to mind.

Damien pushed his door open too hard and it banged into the opposite wall. I resisted jumping in place. He looked angry at me, and I'm sure he has reason to. I realized that he really has wasted all his time on me. Damien's too smart and too good for me. He has talent and wit and all I've got is a set of mediocre geek skills and a mind full of _Sex In The City _trivia answers.

My feet shuffled me in through the doorway a bit so he could hand me the hoodie.

Instead, he tossed it into my hands from beside his open wardrobe.

"Thanks," I tried being cheerful. He grunted. That was when I noticed how amazing he looked. Perfect in edgy black slacks and a white oxford shirt. My own personal male model. Well, he used to be. Kind of is?

I want him to be.

"Um…you look real nice. Is that meeting tonight?" I remembered that incident of Damien lying to me about having to work on projects. Hopefully my face didn't project that.

"Yeah,"

"Are you really on the council?"

"Yep," his eyes drifted away from me completely. All I wanted to do was cry. Bitch!

"Wow, well, good luck," I said very quickly and turned to walk away. I shut the door behind me so fast that it hit me in the ass on the way out.

Damien had never made me feel that unwanted or useless before. So unwelcome…he used to hug me, kiss me, maybe even want me (yes like that) when I came inside his dorm room. Now he sees me as a stranger. At least, I feel like one. A large part of me still doesn't want to judge his actions at all. I want to blame myself. And so, I do. Because maybe if I was more interesting, Damien could have kept me around in his kitschy circle of cool friends.

I managed to avoid my tears until I got back to my lonely old room. It hasn't been the same since Erik moved away. They never even gave me a new roommate. However, with the amount of crying I seemed to be doing, that was probably a positive. It wasn't even a nice weep, it was a disgusting snot kind. Those are the worst.

This complete 180 change with Damien wasn't good for me. The entire I'm a vampyre thing wasn't even totally settled yet. And that past spring? Oh, Goddess…I still had nightmares. Nightmares I couldn't share with anyone, now. I buried under my covers. Sometimes you have to just wallow in self-pity. It'll catch up with you anyway.

You know, Shaun doesn't have manners. He just barged into my room right in the middle of my weep fest. Not good.

"So, I decided I'm super bored and we only have a few days left to be free," he rambled on, touching everything that was laying out on my dresser.

I said nothing and burrowed further into the mattress. Hopefully, with enough pressure, I'd suffocate.

"I think we should have a movie marathon. Something shitty though, because I'm the mood for laughter." Shaun continued, not even noticing my suicide attempt.

Not that it was good or even successful. But I didn't want him to see me. Of course, as soon as that thought sprouted, he noticed immediately. Hell in a hand basket.

"Whoa…Jack, what's a matter?" Shaun rushed over to my bed. He sat down beside me, I could tell because the mattress began to sink.

"Nothing. I'm just a loser." I grumbled into the fabric.

"Are you…crying?"

That irritated me. I'm not sure why. All my insecurities had imploded since this fall out with Damien. I didn't want anyone to see me like this. Especially Shaun. It just gave off a really bad feeling.

I pushed my body away from the bed and sat up on my knees. "Yeah, I am. Being in shit with someone you thought loved you usually makes you look like hell, okay?"

"Sorry…I didn't know it had gotten that bad," Shaun ran his hand through his hair until it laid across this eyes.

"It's…I dunno where we are. Not together, not apart. I just wish I knew where I stood with him," I said, my voice became more panicked.

Shaun edged closer, looking at me in apprehension. Yeesh, I didn't know I seemed that scary. He wiped off the few stray tears that were streaked across my face.

"Look, I know you…feel that you love Damien,"

"I do love him."

His face did a twitching thing. "Yeah. Well, sometimes people change. Too much. It changes the relationship."

Why did he even care...I guess I accepted awhile ago that we weren't just friends...what we actually were, I didn't understand. He looked, walked, talked, and acted straight. Now he was close to me in my bed and he had wiped away my tears.

My arms waved oddly at my sides. "I don't know! I think he's gotten…I fear he now knows what I really am. A big, overemotional clingy faggot…who has self-esteem issues and way too much personal baggage."

I gave up, and flopped back down onto my stomach. To my surprise, Shaun laid down beside me. The edges of our hips touched. His hand reached out again, but instead of ridding my cheek of silly baby tears, he let his palm rest against my jawbone.

"You aren't clingy, and you shouldn't label yourself, you know," he whispered. Suddenly his breath felt too warm to be heating up my skin.

"Damien needs a smart guy. One who has some cool vamp talents," I whined. "That isn't me,"

"Jack, you do have talent."

"Being a sidekick isn't anything special. I'm a background character. The scenery,"

Shaun glared, his dark eyes suddenly fiery. "Goddess! Doesn't that dickwad ever correct you?"

"He isn't a-,"

"Yeah, yeah. I know. He's not a dickwad." Shaun rolled his eyes. "Get real Jack. If you think you can play second fiddle under him forever, then why don't you crawl back to him?"

That stung. I didn't want to let it show, but I could tell that it had. His face softened and he snuggled close to me again.

"I won't do that," I mumbled.

"I know. I'm sorry. I just don't like seeing you so upset and wallowing in self-hatred. Especially when I can see how amazing you really are,"

Shaun's arm wrapped around my side and pulled us so close that all my eyes could focus on was his face. I knew a blush was tingeing my skin. My whole body trembled at his presence so close to me.

"He just needs someone who has it together. Someone, well, sane." I giggled. "That isn't me, Shaun. I'm a mess."

I nearly exploded when his lips brushed the corner of my mouth. "I happen to enjoy your insanity," Shaun whispered, his body so near. I could feel the very beat of his heart thump in time with my own.

And yeah, I let him kiss me.

Everything about that killed me inside. It felt so wrong, so dirty of me…not to be with Damien. No other boy had ever held me like that. Shaun was much larger than me. His arms pulled us both up and urged me to sit in his lap. I obliged to all of it. I was boneless when with him. The only fight I put up was with my lips. His tongue went to war with my mouth, begging and pleading for me to let him in. Shaun was a lovely guy, a hot guy, but everything about that just made me wanna scream. Why couldn't Damien just be okay with my nonsense…if this new, blond man was able to? I wanted nothing more to be a magician and turn Shaun into Damien.

Which I realize was really unfair to Shaun. But I was in his lap…it was dark…and the way he was making me feel wasn't unnoticeable. He picked me up off of him and pressed me into my own bed, spreading his legs over my hips so he could hover there. The look of his eyes, such intensity…doesn't everyone deserve to have somebody want them like that?

And once more, why couldn't Damien give me that? It was all I had wanted in the beginning.

Shaun lifted up the edge of his Boys Like Girls band tee, teasing and showing off his hipbones. I smirked at him and urged the shirt off. What had taken over me? This wasn't my mind, certainly. The real Jack Twist was a good, nice boy who…lapped after Damien like a puppy.

Nyx save me.

With the shirt off, Shaun was as narrow as I had imagined. But he had muscle, you could see it rippling against the paleness of his chest. I sighed, bringing his body back down to mine. I touched every inch of exposed skin. I must admit I spent a lot of that time tracing circles on Shaun's back. I don't know what it is with me and male torsos…oh well. Shaun unbuttoned my polo and tossed it onto the bedroom floor before I could even talk or object to anything. Not that I was going to.

I mean, would you?

Shaun pressed small, feathery kisses down the line from my nipple to my bellybutton. I felt the top button of my jeans pop open. Alarm bells were ringing everywhere, I could practically see the red octagons of stop signs burst like fireworks around Shaun's body. I wanted to ignore them. I wanted to feel as terrible as possible. I wanted to have someone else to blame but myself for once. Shaun would satisfy that. He leant up away from me again, stealing the heated warmth. He unbuttoned his own jeans before taking my hand and placing the zipper to his denims between my fingers. Shaun then held my hand and we took off his jeans together.

That's when I realized what was going on. Sex. Something sexual was going to occur in my room. The dirtiest thing it had ever watched me do was masturbate and chicken out over having Damien's dick rub up on mine. Shaun was teasing once more, slowly sliding his boxers past his hips.

Naked. In my room. I gulped.

What happened then I can't ever explain. My eyes were probably the size of Neptune or Venus, or some other large planet. Duchess sat up, growling at the door. It was opened just barely by a few inches. Nyx has a funny way of influencing lives. If it wasn't her, then damn someone hates me.

"Y-you left the door open…" I choked out and pointed to the door that was beginning to move.

"Well, I'll shut it before we-,"

Shaun was cut off by a third party. She was blonde, stylish, and looked disappointed and gleeful all at once.

"Jackie's got a new love? Poor Mother Damien…" Aphrodite said bluntly, looking at Shaun's bare form up and down.

"Ah, hell…" I said breathlessly and prayed once again for sudden death.

* * *

Lalaaa. Review please.


	9. Secret

A/N: This made me sad as I wrote it. There's only one other sad dip in this story, but this one hurt me personally. A little racy at one point but I marked this as M, so it's fine.

* * *

_Nine._ Damien.

_This was definitely a dream. You know how sometimes you can tell? Trapped between a world that is totally in your control and it's known. I usually don't mind that. It's better than no control at all. Perhaps here I was boss because in waking life- I definitely was not in charge. I was a mere speck in the ocean that had become Jack Twist. It was probably going to swallow me soon, and not leave a trace of who I was behind. The dream began at school, which was explainable, the first day of classes started in a few hours. First night. I walked along the long hallways in search of Jack. I had asked him yesterday to pass the remote and he had started in on a conversation with me._

_For once I hadn't pushed him away._

_And now my subconscious just had to find him. Every door along the corridor opened without me even touching them. My dream self panicked. What if I couldn't locate him? What if had left, changed schools, died? Died? He'd become a red one then…bet Shaun would like that._

_There's nothing to be jealous of…nothing to envy…don't be so stupid._

_Door after door banged open. The slams doubled in volume once I changed hallways. There was no Jack. No person at all in fact, I was totally alone. I tried bending and willing the dream to make him appear. However, it wouldn't budge one inch. My throat stretched around a scream and I was surprised that it made no sound once I released it. My legs dragged me down to the end of that hall, where a mirror was hung on the wall like a tapestry. It was floor to ceiling in length. There was something not quite right about the reflection. It looked fogged over and misty._

_I leaned forward and got really close. I could hear my screams that time._

_My father's unshaven, angry face stared back at me from behind the glass. He was wearing his normal and expected slacks and dress jacket. With a tie. Always with a tie. He shook his head at me. The image was so real I felt warped, as if I had teleported back to my old bedroom in my parent's stifling house._

"_You screwed even this up, Damien?" his eyes averted mine. He never could look at me. "Couldn't just be normal, could you son?"_

"_I'm sorry," I mewled, scratching the mirrors surface. Behind my father were two blond boys. One thin and short, the other tall and lanky. They were holding hands._

"_I'm so sorry."_

"_I'm sorry."_

"Sorry," I said out loud to my ceiling. I had fallen back into consciousness with a very hard thud.

My clock claimed it was around three in the afternoon. Definitely not the hour to rise and shine. Instead, I sat up and against my headboard. Maybe if I focused on something dull I could get back to sleep faster. I find a lot of things fascinating so this was kind of difficult. I shut my eyes tight and thought about dumb tv shows. Dumb reality shows. Ugh, those are the absolute worst. I especially hate the fashion ones, and yeah that includes _America's Next Top Model_. If that isn't shattering a stereotype to bits, I don't know what is.

This was totally working. I let out a huge yawn and settled into my blankets.

The only reason I had ever let my eyeballs watch Tyra Banks ruin the lives of unattractive debutantes was because Jack loved it so much. The new ones and all the reruns. I could remember once when the cycle had ended and he was yammering on about how he modeled better then the stupid blonde winner…I had kissed him straight across his lips, cutting off his mouth's attempt in saying "definitely." Jack was so surprised. And flustered. We had never made out before that evening and he became excited in his cute little way. He has a cute little way about lots of things. I miss nearly all of them.

There was talking…chatter, mostly. So he didn't hate me. Great. So what are we? I know what I am. Unintelligent. I should have protested his decision to separate us from the get go. Now it was almost September and I was paying the price.

I wanted him back more than anything. To Hades with all my problems. The blood thing. The sex thing. His self esteem thing. If he crawled into my bed right now, I wouldn't even question it. With my eyes closed I could nearly picture Jack, nuzzled up against my side. He was always really warm. I burrowed deeper into the mattress. Maybe there was still an ounce of his smell somewhere left on my bed sheets. I sniffed quietly, but all I could sense was detergent. Oh well.

That stupid day with the fashion shows. I had never given sex a second thought (er, in a way) until that evening. I still wanted Jack like that. Not that it mattered. But all these thoughts are bad for me. A stifling hard on is a total hindrance on the sleeping idea. It's bad to ignore that but I felt I had to. It would be memories and illusions of Jack that I'd be masturbating for. That just seemed so pathetic.

I may have had a stupendous vocabulary, but that didn't stop me from pushing my hand down past the elastic of my pajama bottoms.

The tiniest of groans escaped me once my hand grasped a hold of my erection. I had just lived through the scariest dream of my life, and now I was aroused. That was surely a sign of total insanity. I came within a few minutes and laid sprawled out across my bed. Most beings connect sex and love and I'm no different. I did want Jack back. But what was I willing to give in order to obtain such a wish?

That evening, I tried my best to focus on my studies. That's pretty difficult, for some, but I tend to throw myself into education. It takes my mind of things. Not totally but it does help. For once I was happy not to have run into Jack in the halls. I had seen him before classes, but there was no sign of his bubbly, blond self for the rest of the school night. I headed to dinner alone but was greeted immediately by the Twins who stood side by side in the food line.

"I am not happy to be back in class, Twin. Not at all…" Erin made a face at her wrap, one that had nothing to do with the food.

Shaunee shook her head in agreement. "I know it. Damien is probably loving it, aren't you?"

"Lapping up the knowledge?" Erin grinned at me.

I rolled my eyes. "It's not bad to learn, you know. We have decent classes this semester,"

"Yeah like one. Drama. And only because they let Erik Night stay in charge of it," Shaunee sighed.

"I know Twin. He is still very fine,"

They yammered on about Erik all the way to the table. It was kind of refreshing to be back in a schedule. Zoey wasn't there, but Aphrodite was. Alone. Her hand was busy clicking away at something on her cell phone. When we sat down, she looked around at us.

"Nerd herd. We meet again to dine,"

"Hey Aphrodite," I said in a pleasant voice. She wasn't a bad person. Not deep down, you could tell.

Her bright eyes changed, then. Something flickered in them that wasn't one of her usual emotions. It almost looked like pity. I couldn't really explain it though, because she covered it quickly.

"Gay nerd," her slightly vapid smile bled. "Did you enjoy our new classes?"

"He loved them, of course," Erin interrupted.

"They were substantial," I nodded and took a large gulp of water.

Aphrodite watched me like a cat stalking a mouse. "Have you seen Tech Gay Nerd at all?

"Not really,"

"He sure loves that surfer kid. Shaun something or other, isn't it?"

I wanted to stab her with my fork. Instead I dropped it like a fool. "I don't know."

"Surfer kid and Jack are _friends_, Aphrodite." Erin huffed.

Shaunee joined her by a roll of her eyes. "Lay off. It's their relationship."

"Oh, I know. I was merely being observant, you Siamese-Twin Nerds." she did a catty hairflip that seemed to cliché to actually be part of her character.

I poked around at my food. "Me and Jack are fixing things."

"Are you?" her eyes narrowed. I hadn't noticed that her face was now way too close in proximity to mine. "Because I know something that just may change your mind,"

I had no clue at all what she meant by that. "Hmph. Like what?"

"Hey guys!" Jack suddenly appeared, smiling and waving. Shaun lurked behind him like a taller, darker version of the perky blond. He said nothing at all.

"Jack, you guys should sit with us," Erin invited. My heart lept a little. I knew Aphrodite had no clue what she was even talking about.

I was so convinced. I hadn't left room for the error that came next.

"Fine. If you want Damien's cheating, lying, _ex-boyfriend_ to eat with us, then you have more respect for him then I do."

Everyone gaped at her. I gaped the most. My heart stopped, the world froze. And then like the aftermath of a nuclear explosion, everything began at once.

"Why would you say that!" Erin said shrilly, smacking her palm against the table.

Shaunee did her own hairflip. "What's your problem, Aphrodite?"

I just stared at Jack. His eyes were wet, and I could see tears beginning to form in their crevasses. My eyes jumped to Shaun who was rubbing the back of his neck with his hand, trying his best not to make any visual contact with anyone. I wanted, in all truth, to be dead.

Because all of these factors equaled the horrible realization that had been, a moment ago, stupid. Impossible.

Before the Twins could pounce on Aphrodite, who was rallying up to battle them, I began to move in what my brain remembers as a scene in complete slow motion. I waved the Twins away. They gawked at me like I was a foreign alien. I stood up from the table and walked right past Jack, tugging his sleeve so that he'd get the hint to follow. I wasn't really experiencing all this though. Not yet. It wasn't even beginning to sink in. Once we were alone in the corridor, Jack's mouth opened like a flood gate.

"I didn't mean to…me and Shaun, we just hooked up, well sorta and I didn't want it to go far. I really didn't. Oh Goddess…I don't know…" Jack's gestures were wild and his face was damp with tears.

I know I shed one. Somewhere. I just couldn't feel it yet.

"You and Shaun…hooked up?" I eeped. Couldn't be saved, the sentence made my throat close up.

"We made out. He wanted more but…I would have said no."

My eyebrows arched together.

"Would have?"

Jack's eyes watched the walls, the floor, the candle sconces. "Aphrodite came in."

"Wow. Just wow…"

"I'm so sorry."

I was crumbling. In two minutes I'd be a mess. "I can't deal with this. You have some serious hangups on this kid. If that is how you feel…we need to be apart. For a long while," I said softly.

Jack's expression read that I had stabbed him bloody. "Damien, no…please. I-I, just need…I love you, if you just-,"

I held my hands up in what authors would call symbolic surrender. "Don't make it worse…Goddess, please…"

I had throw up. Somewhere in me my organs were failing. So he loved me, did he? Guess I got what I wanted.


	10. Vanish

A/N: Uhm. Yes.

* * *

_Ten. _Jack.

I hate regretting things.

It wasn't like I hadn't had a crush on Shaun. I totally did. And the past tense is key. He had become a completely different person after the 'incident' in my bedroom. It could be in the middle of the afternoon, and there he'd be, outside my door and trying to grab at me. It was making me sick. I wanted to wallow in my self-pity and he was just complicating it. Shaun either wasn't good at taking hints, or he just didn't care what mood I was in. After I had explained that Damien dumped me his first reaction had been to ask me out.

I had just walked away.

The first week being without Damien…and I mean completely. I didn't have anyone to talk to either. The Twins, Stevie Rae…even Aphrodite had all sided against me. I couldn't blame them. I didn't even want to be on my side. I felt disgusting and completely useless. Add all that, and the fact that Damien didn't seem to care now that I still loved him. Perhaps that just wasn't going to be enough to keep us together.

You know, you would think after all the poop we had traversed through that relationship problems wouldn't be so…problematic. Funny, huh?

Day twenty-two being a self-professed cliché emo kid. I was laying face down on my bed, inhaling dust bunnies.

One knock at the door. Then two. Then five. I didn't need to be physic to know that it was Shaun.

"Go away," I croaked. My voice had turned to a cackle from days without speech.

The door opened anyway. There he was. Bold as brass. I could actually feel my eyes cross in anger.

"Look, can we just talk?" Shaun said softly, his feet shuffling against my plush blue rug.

I blinked, and then sat up. "Sure."

He seemed relieved and walked over to my bed. He even sat a normal, friendly distance.

"I'm worried that you're going to stay this fucked up…it isn't healthy, you know,"

"I know that. But I don't want to be over him. That sounds weird, right?" I laughed, my voice doing that awkward thing it does when I want to cry.

"No, I get that…it's normal to be so hung up." Shaun gently rubbed my shoulder, inching a bit closer so that he could reach me.

We were quiet for a second. For once, I didn't wanna be that little gay kid who gets all emotional. Perhaps that was fine sometimes. But I just hated being so weak. I had to prove something now. That I could still be me, without Damien.

But I knew it would never be the same. Like trying to live with only one eye, or a missing organ…possible. Just less than perfect.

"I just thought I'd be with him…for a way longer time," I said, my shoulders shaking a bit.

"I bet I can help speed your recovery." Shaun's voice was so smooth, like he was trying to seduce me.

I didn't move. His lips touched my jawbone, then my mouth. For a second I froze. That feeling crept up my body, like it had in summertime. But now I didn't want it anymore. I pushed Shaun away and curled in on myself, wrapping my arms tight against my legs.

"Get. Out."

"Jack, you need to get over him. He obviously doesn't fucking want you!" Shaun tore off from my bed, only to spin around and spit that at me.

The words hit like bullets. "I know that. Just go away,"

One last look over his shoulder and then he left. He didn't even characteristically slam my door. Just disappeared. It wasn't like I never felt this before. Shaun was just another person I had disappointed in some way.

Then came the next day. And the next. Soon weeks were blending in a steady stream of bland existence. I did all I needed to stay alive. Eating, drinking, sleeping…I even studied when I wasn't forcing myself to chow down lettuce I didn't even have the stomach for. I suppose a doctor of some kind would want to medicate me. I had all the symptoms for depression…I knew that because the television showed depression medication commercials all the time. I could just have been being over-dramatic, I told myself.

But then I would replay everything and my life would go back on it's slow reel.

"Jack, you have to stop this." Zoey said to me softly. I hadn't noticed that she found me.

I was sitting outside beneath a tree. It was close to class time, but I just couldn't eat. So, I found a jacket and took to walking around by myself. November is peaceful. A little chilly but I can deal with that. Zoey sat down on the grass too.

"You shouldn't be out here." I told her.

Her expression turned to confused. "Why?"

"Damien is your friend. He's in your circle."

"So are you."

"I don't have an affinity."

Zoey rolled her eyes. "That doesn't mean you aren't within my circle. As I recall, Jack, you were with the rest of us the entire time."

I shrugged my shoulders, pulling my knees up close to my chest. "I feel so stupid."

"But I know you aren't." Zoey mumbled, drawing circles in the grass with her fingertip.

"I told him I loved him. He doesn't care."

"Of course he does,"

I stood up too fast. My head spun for a second and the autumn colors around me blurred. "Then why did he walk away? That's right, because it isn't enough."

"It's enough." Zoey said calmly, staring up at me as if I wasn't a total snazzy freak.

"I cheated on him."

"So apologize."

"I did! It doesn't matter." I wanted to sob, but not in front of the young Priestess.

Zoey stood and brushed leaves off her jeans. "Go and talk to him. Explain. You two have too much of a bond to stay apart forever."

Her voice was so somber, I just blinked at her. She reached out to rub my shoulder before walking back towards the school. But I know I can't talk to Damien. How can I possibly when he turned me away last time? No one should go through that kind of rejection twice. I tilted my head back and looked up at windows. The fourth one from the left, I know, is Damien's. The curtains were wide open. I stared for a moment. I'm lame enough to be half-praying to Nyx just to catch a glimpse of him. I hadn't been able to run into Damien, he made sure of that. I didn't even bother eating with the group anymore. I would just make things awkward and even though mostly everyone was mad at me, I didn't want to do that. I didn't want to make a spectacle.

I just wanted to disappear.

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It's a little short. Reviews? XD.


	11. Realizations

A/N: Remember, chapter ten, this chapter, and the next chapter are all taking place in same evening. In addition, all of the following chapters will be much longer. Probably around 4000-7000. So give me some time. Thanks for all the reviews, by the way!!

* * *

_Eleven. _Damien.

Exactly one hundred and thirty five days had passed when I finally realized how lame it was that I was counting them. No one knew about my tiny secret calendar, stashed away in my side table drawer. No one would know either. Aphrodite and the Twins had rabid bash fests if I even so much as mentioned Jack's name. That stung, I'll admit. I didn't want to miss him, but I did. I avoided Jack whenever possible. There were five or so odd moments over the past four months when his shockingly bright eyes would meet mine within a dim corridor on our way to classes. Each look made my heart pang. Whoever said 'set what you love free, and if it was meant to be, it will return'…was a little off. It should have been more like, 'set what you love free because it hooked up with a man skank, and because you want it's blood, and it possibly hates you now, _and _it may or may not ever return. Dumbass.'

Yeah.

"Damien, can you hustle? I refuse to be late to Erik's class," Aphrodite snapped behind me in the hall.

I was shuffling in front of her at a sluggish pace. Even with all the extra sleep I had, I was still extremely fatigued. With my heavy book bag draped over my lagging shoulder, I bet I looked near death. A small part of me wanted to be.

But just a small part.

"We have ten more minutes." I said gruffly. She seemed irked at my response.

I saw her black Prada boots appear beside my moccasins. My eyes drifted upwards to see Aphrodite's orbs roll.

"Do you need to get laid or something? Goddess," she spat, placing her hair over her back.

My inner virgin shuddered. "That's not exactly the problem."

"You still love the little prick, don't you?"

"Don't call him that." My eye twitched. Again, I wanted to be able to hate Jack. But that was a superfluous wish.

Aphrodite actually sighed at me. When we reached the door to Erik's drama class, she pulled my arm and walked us over behind a small nook.

"Look, I've had many scummy boyfriends. Ones who have cheated…whatever."

"Jack isn't scummy."

She glared at me and made a sound like an exasperated cow. "Let me finish! But I've never had a boyfriend who completely resented their little hookup. Or one that seems to pine away for me after I've dumped their ass,"

I shifted my weight, staring anywhere but at the truth in her look. Aphrodite was right, for the most part. Jack was sorry. Jack said he loved me. But some things just weren't fitting correctly. Why cheat on me with Shaun at all? Jack must have had some feelings for him, that's why we took a break. And Jack seemed so depressed most of the time, never taking any of my praise seriously. Always doubting me…the blood thing seemed minor when compared to that. Aphrodite's comment about getting laid returned to my brain. There was that, too. We were always on different wavelengths when it came to relationship and sex stuff.

Aphrodite punched my arm. "Stop thinking and listen to me. Forget all those dumb little things you keep worrying over like an anal housewife."

I blinked. "But-,"

"Just get over it!" she said with finality and glided back to drama class.

I mulled over what she had said in my head a thousand times. Even the very dashing Professor Night couldn't make me focus on Shakespeare's _A Midsummer's Nights Dream_. And Erik can make me center in on almost anything. There was no doubt that I was fretting over the small stuff…but I guess it just seemed a lot bigger to me than it did to an outsider. Was Jack the uncomplicated one? Had I misjudged that entirely? I suppose that is possible. Maybe I've been the drama queen the entire time.

My stomached clenched as I thought of Jack. He had to miss me too, didn't he?

I jumped when my phone vibrated silently in my pant pocket. Erik was reading with another student with his back facing me. It was really risky, considering vamp teachers aren't your average teachers, but I opened the text message anyway. It was from Zoey.

"_Come meet me outside after ur class. Drk Daughters stuff'_

I quickly closed the phone right as Erik turned around gallantly, gripping his theater script.

"_Ay me! For aught that I could ever read,_

_Could ever hear by tale or history,_

_The course of true love never did run smooth,_

_But either it was different in blood," _Erik read as the perfect Lysander, sweeping the room and reading mostly by heart.

A blushing girl named Ashley fumbled with her pages._ "Oh cross! Too high to be enthralled too low,"_

"_Or else misgraffed in respect of years,"_

"_Oh spite! Too old to be engaged too young."_

"_Or else it stood upon the chance of friends,"_

"_Oh hell, to choose love by another's eyes." _she finished gently. Not exactly perfect Hermia. But Erik looked pleased with her anyway.

I find Shakespeare to be a little nondescript, but this play had wasn't so terrible. Lysander's bit about true love weighted my head even heavier. I was expecting perfection in something that was never perfect. Although Hermia's love is meant to be a comedy, mine seems to be nothing but tragedy. As for the text message, I didn't really feel like being committed to anything right now but I couldn't let Zoey down. I'd help her with whatever she needed for that evenings ritual then I'd drift into the background. I was slowly getting used to doing just that.

Erik leaned against the front of his podium, brushing his dark hair out of his eyes. I heard a girl behind me swoon.

"Come on, who wants to finish this part? _Or if there was sympathy in choice_…"

After drama class, I excused myself away from the Twins who wanted to drag me off to watch _Project Runway_. The reason of essays scared them off. It helped to invite them both to the library. On my way to see Zoey, I felt my phone buzz again. This time it repeated which indicated a call. One I just ignored. No one ever called me unless it was family. Even then I still never got them. I decided to just look at it later when it was more convenient. The Dark Daughters building was illuminated in the full moon's light, making it a movie status sight. Zoey was waiting outside the door. She was also stunning when bathed in the shallow light.

"Blessed be, Damien." Zoey greeted me.

I grinned. "Blessed be, Priestess."

Her forehead wrinkled, as it always did when a friend treated her as an authority figure. I guess it had to be somewhat odd to her.

"Are you ready for another ritual?" she asked me over her shoulder as we entered the room together.

I shrugged. "They are becoming routine."

"Not boring, I hope."

"Never." I grunted, dragging the chairs into their appropriate spots. Zoey was fussing with candles.

We were quiet while setting up the ritual area. Zoey was becoming quite the leader. Not that she wasn't before. It was just that now she had more people to command and deal with. I don't mind that sort of thing myself, usually. But I don't think I could take on such things like Zoey. Or Stevie Rae, for that matter. I hadn't seen her in quite some time but my heart lifted a little when I remembered she would be attending tonight. We finished within fifteen minutes, but Zoey didn't dismiss me. Instead, she walked beside the low dip that lead into the main area. The place where the circle was usually called. She stood beside the beam and smiled softly.

"I asked you here for a reason, Damien. I could have just done this myself,"

I sighed. I hadn't realized that until a few moments ago. She beckoned me over, and I sat in front of her on a bench. The candlelight made the temperature in the room rise. While Zoey stared at me, I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, scratching at my slightly warm neck.

"I know what this is about."

"I know." Zoey smiled again, but I noticed that there was something in her expression I hated.

Pity.

"I don't feel like discussing it."

"Well fine. Then just listen to me, will you?"

I nodded. "Okay."

Zoey sighed, and began walking along the length of the floorboards. "Look, you do have every right to be angry at Jack. Hooking up with Shaun wasn't the best way to deal with things. However, you both seem to be…well, dying. In a way…" she added and looked at me.

"Dying? How?"

"Maybe not dying like you think…like wilting, I suppose. Jack doesn't eat. You can't stop sleeping. I bet you've only seen him a few times since you've broken up, but that hasn't stopped either of you from pining away."

I sputtered, "Pining?"

Zoey shrugged. "Somehow, even Stevie Rae noticed it. I think you both splitting up has affected her most of all. She told me she had tried to help."

"I know she did."

"She thinks she failed you."

"Look," I got up. "_I_ failed, okay? I fail at a lot of things and that bothers me just as much as it does any other person. I just don't say it as much as-, well,"

"Jack?" her left eyebrow cocked.

"I'll see you at the ritual, Zoey." I said curtly, and headed towards the door.

"Wait!" she chased me, grabbing my arm. "Listen, please?"

The front door was partially open. Bursts of cold air blew in and ruffled our hair and Zoey's skirt.

"What?" I asked quietly, my hand was still on the doorknob.

"Don't let Jack wilt away. He needs you. Remember the past year? You have to recall how he blossomed into somebody with courage, somebody who actually had self-worth."

"I remember."

Zoey smiled. There wasn't any pity in it that time. "If anything, do it for the Jack Twist we're all in danger of losing."

For once, I had nothing to say. No astute words to add. No brainy, analytical comments. Again I was told the truth, in a blatant, obvious way that made the cold air feel sharper. It burned my eyes as I walked back into the House of Night. I still felt completely frozen over when I entered my dorm room. I sat on my bed and stared at the opposing wall.

Everything is complicated and yet everything can be simple too. There would be no more obsessions over small errors. Somehow I felt ten thousand years old as I lay back on my bed. The deep, onyx colored jacket and tie bit I was going to wear that night looked like a portal on my white bedcover. The silver buttons gleamed ominously. Would there be enough time? What could I even possibly say to him? I was going to go back to Jack. If I had to beg I would. If I had to slice a vein, I would.


	12. Imprint

This chapter took foreverrrr to produce. Not that much left now. One bend, a lemon, a sad thing, and my cute epilogue. PS. This chapter contains bloodplay & scenes of a sexual nature.

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_Twelve. _Jack.

The full moon ritual used to be fun and exciting, but now it was just something I was partially forced into. I didn't hate it. But it wasn't an event I looked forward to anymore. I would be going alone, but I was kind of getting used to being by myself. I strained through getting dressed. There would be no avoiding Damien at all. He would be front and center. My eyes would eat him up faster than a chubby kid devours free candy. Not that I'd let him see my pathetic gazes. I'd stare when it was easiest; when he wasn't looking back.

Zoey's little intervention was still prominent in my mind. I wanted him to forgive me, but I wasn't sure if Damien would. I know that what I did was awful…I just wanted this to be over. I needed him around.

I walked through the darkness with ease, the chilly winter temperatures not changing much. Groups of kids filtered around me as if I didn't exist. Maybe I didn't. I stood outside with the rest of them, blending in with the surroundings in a black blazer and equally dark jeans. It was Darius who opened the doors. He was still at the House of Night, much to the chagrin of Dragon Lankford and Lenobia. Aphrodite had her own personal escort and I doubt that would change soon. In a messy line, everyone entered the building. The friendly chatter ceased. The circle was already in place. Shaunee and Erin, Stevie Rae and Zoey, and, of course, Damien. Goddess…

My eyes automatically shut tight and I almost knocked over a chair. Kramisha pulled me down beside her before I caused any damage.

"Woof, boy. Settle yourself," she whispered. Her dark eyes glinted red in the candlelight.

I blushed twelve shades of red. "Thanks."

She shook her head. Beside her sat Shannoncompton, and then the faces to me were nameless. Lenobia was whispering something to Zoey. Erik Night was standing too, beside a pillar. I tried to be like half the girls in the room and gaze at either him or Darius but I couldn't. No one was really watching Damien and to me he was the most important being in the room.

"Blessed be," Zoey said calmly. Any buzzing left in the room died.

"Blessed be, Priestess." The room chanted back.

"Tonight as we congregate in another celebration of the full moon…" she walked to and fro across the way, her words light but deep with meaning.

I never pitied her. Even when Heath died. Because Zoey had too many talents that prevented her from such an insult.

I couldn't stare up though. So through most of her words I pulled at a loose button on the bottom of my jacket. Could you feel someone look at you? I hope not. My eyes stray up, ready at the quick to drop back down. But Damien was staring beyond the circle. Beyond Zoey even. Like he was on a different planet. I focused on him, my skin prickling. Suddenly his eyes shot to me.

"…and although in our lives we endure many tragedies, we have to remember that there are blessings in every misfortune…"

My heart jumped as if electrified. I just could not stop looking. Damien's head tipped slowly to the side, like a confused dog. I bit down on my lower lip so hard I could taste the sweet metallic essence of blood.

"…that blessing could be a companion. A best friend. A talent. Or maybe it is just something as simple as falling in love…"

Damien fidgeted in his stance. He almost let his candle fall to the floor. He watched as the blood blossomed. I quickly wiped it away on my sleeve.

"…let us thank Nyx for these blessings. And for the light and darkness that is the full moon."

Zoey had everyone entranced. Everyone but Damien. He seemed to be centering in on my mouth. The feeling that gave off made my stomach want to ripple. Zoey called in her circle, and commanded the elements to wash over everyone. I felt air touch me more than anything. A breeze through my hair. How it feels to stand on the shore by a warm ocean. I shivered right in my seat.

"Stay on the path of Nyx, everyone." Erik added at the closing ceremony.

Zoey smiled. "Blessed be."

"Blessed be!"

I had a weird animalistic urge to flee. But something was keeping me glued to my seat. It probably had something to do with the fact that my fingernails were basically hooked to the underside of the chair. Either way, I waited in agony. He had to come talk now, right? The room emptied. Only Zoey, Stevie Rae, and Damien remained in the building. But they had started to clear out the candles. I waited anyway. I could swear any movement or footstep was Damien. But it was always one of the girls and sometimes- it was just my wishful thinking. Had he left? My heart died a little.

"Jack?" an unsure voice called from behind me.

I twisted around awkwardly. "Yeah?"

"Why are you still here?" Damien asked, stepping out of the dark. He looked afraid.

I stood up, nearly sending my chair to the floor. "Oh. Um. Well,"

Damien waved his hand. "Never mind that. I'm glad you did."

"You are?"

"We have to talk."

I wanted to do a tiny dance. And usually those words mean trouble. I couldn't say anything coherent in response, so instead I just followed him outside and back towards the school. We walked apart and in silence. It felt a little grade school with me trailing him back into his dorm room. Once inside, he shut the door. The room was as meticulously clean as ever. Nothing on the floor. Everything had a place. I felt the air around me stiffen, as Damien took a seat on the bed. I stood in the middle of the room because I just couldn't move. The overhead light above made me feel as if I was on display.

"I hate what this has done." Damien finally said. He didn't say it to me, but instead said it while picking at his bedspread.

"I hate what I did. I know I caused it…"

"If I had only supported you more,"

"Shaun was just too nice, I-I didn't,"

"Jack," Damien smiled sadly. "I know. You liked him. It's ok."

I frowned. "I don't anymore. He's so annoying and he's always all over me…I hate it."

He made a face. Hopefully at the idea of Shaun being all over me.

"I just want this heinous ordeal to end. I love you, Jack Twist. That won't ever change and I've become too used to having you in my life. It's obvious I can no longer be Damien Maslin without you." he said the last part shyly, then looked up at me.

I couldn't stop myself. My shoulders quaked and my entire body felt like warm jelly.

"P-please forgive me. It didn't mean anything, not like it does with you." I blubbered, burning tears sizzled in the corner of my eyes.

"Come here, Jack." Damien said softly.

I was surprised I could make it over to him without tripping and falling on my face. His eyes were glossy too, but I knew he wouldn't ever cry. At least not in front of anyone. Damien placed his hand over mine, which rested on the bed.

"I've missed you."

"You missed a desperate little screw up like me?"

His eyes narrowed. "You are none of those things Jack."

I wiped away a few of the tears that had already fallen. "I cry over every little thing. I feel so pathetic."

Damien sighed and leaned forward to dry up the rest of my face. "You aren't pathetic either. You do amazing things, Jack."

"Yeah? Like what." I grumbled.

"You're an amazing writer. And you are so gentle and loving…you are a genuine person. No one can ever take that from you. No one could ever call you pathetic when you have that kind of power,"

I turned towards him and instantly could see that he meant every word of that. My heart lifted. Maybe it would actually start beating again.

"I still love you Damien. I never stopped."

"I know."

"How?"

"Because I never stopped either." he smiled, and brought my hand up to his lips to kiss it.

I giggled and wiggled closer to him on the bed. The heat radiating from him was amazing. It always was.

Damien laughed and laid back into his pillows. "Come lay up here," he patted the space next to his chest.

I did as he asked and snuggled happily. It was as if the world had finally righted itself. At least, my world. My tiny insignificant corner. This could never matter as much to anyone else as it did to me. "You are the only one who makes me happy, you know."

"Solely? I can't be that astounding," he grinned sheepishly.

I punched his side. "But yet, you are."

"There is something you should probably be aware of…if we're going to get back together and all…"

Damien seemed nervous. I looked up to see him biting at his lower lip. Poop.

"What's wrong? What's happened?" I demanded, bringing myself into a sitting position up on my knees.

My mind flipped through a thousand possibilities…one being the whole 'you cheated on me, so I did the same' crappy storyline that was always overused on sitcoms and soap operas. For being cliché it made my heart hurt like crazy.

"The whole bloodlust thing….I didn't think it could happen to me. But it has."

What Damien said really didn't make sense. It certainly wasn't one of the options that I had been focusing on. Then it slowly dawned on me what he was talking about. I could feel my skin shiver a bit, even though I didn't want to be scared.

"You…b-but you are to young…just a fledgling." I mumbled.

"I know _that_." Damien said quietly. "That doesn't change the fact that I've been wanting to drink from you for months."

Suddenly, a lot of things clicked into place. How the air seemed to vibrate sometimes when I'd catch Damien staring at me, or when he would catch me doing the same. The taste of blood wasn't appealing to me though. No matter how much he wanted it. And cutting myself also gave me a similar reaction. Plus, it would imprint us. But was that really so awful? I mean, it was supposed to be a…a sexual thing, right? Something about that part made it a little more tempting.

I bit into my lower lip. Either way I was still somewhat afraid.

"Then do it."

Damien stared back at me as if I had just asked him to cut off his own arm. "W-what?"

"Drink from me…I want you to…" I tried to say as fearless as possible. It kind of sounded right.

But he didn't seem to hear any of the overwhelming trepidation I had. Just from experiencing it…as for as the imprint went…that I was starting to want more than anything.

"Are you sure, Jack? It's a pretty big deal." Damien asked, sitting back against his pillows.

"Please…imprint with me Damien," I whispered quietly and sat beside him.

He leaned over me, closing any free gaps between us. I wasn't sure what I had exactly asked for. I couldn't even begin to imagine what it would feel like. Each time Damien took a breath, I felt his chest slowly raise to meet mine. My own breathing hitched. If I had wanted to, I could have counted his eyelashes. I guess I was stupid enough not to expect a kiss. A giant bite to my neck, maybe. But I hadn't kissed him in so long. It was something I had began to believe that I would never experience again. My lips moved against Damien's awkwardly. I had gasped when he touched me. His arms pulled me into his warm lap, and I sat in a numb silence. I moved with his flow and we tumbled, falling against his pillows. Damien slid out from beneath me and moved over me. He didn't sit on my hips. Instead, he hovered, gently leaning back on my thighs.

"I don't know…aren't you frightened, Jack?"

Of course I was. I was damn close to terrified.

"N-no. At least, not of the blood or imprinting…" I told him honestly.

Damien's head cocked to one side, and he sighed quietly. "Is it because of how it may make you feel?"

"Yeah." my head bowed. "That kind of stuff scares me. It shouldn't but it totally does." I sat up away from him and curled my knees up to my chest.

"It makes sense. It does, Jack." he smiled, closing his eyes in an extended blink once I sent him my 'I so doubt that' stare.

"Because I act like a child."

"Technically we still are." he shrugged. I made a face.

Damien chuckled, nice and low. "No…Jack, come here." he added softly.

He was gesturing back to his lap where we had started. I bit into my lower lip, and crawled closer. My skin prickled at the closeness. I actually began to shake as Damien's hand trailed a long path down my bent knee and leg and up my buttoned shirt. His other, free hand began to undo the silver buttons. He popped them slowly and I felt each one as though they were bullets. A guy shouldn't be nervous about that, right? I guess, but everything Damien did made me nervous. In a really amazing, tingly sort of way. I wrapped my arms around his chest, then his back. I looked up at Damien. All I needed was to be kissed. None of the nice kind that had happened a moment ago. I wanted it to mean something.

Damien picked up on my plea instantly and bent down to touch my lips with his. His tongue prodded mine as if he was afraid I'd reject that, which I wouldn't have in ten billion years. His taste was so familiar. It was like returning home. Everything else before couldn't have ever happened. Like an awful nightmare. And it certainly didn't matter. Damien's finger swirled circles around my nipple and I moved us even closer together. My shirt had fallen open. I hoped and prayed to Nyx that he couldn't notice how heavy I was breathing. He pinched me then, to tease me, but then broke our kiss to bend down and swirl those circles with the tip of his tongue. My lips parted and a frilly sigh came out. I smooshed my lips shut and settled for gently clawing Damien's upper thighs. He bit into my nipple and I gasped. I felt him breathing against the wet skin, his hands shaking against my hips. He was slowly unzipping my jeans.

My eyes crossed. I was certain I'd have to smack myself to reverse it, but Damien's voice broke the moment.

"I do not want to drink from you by biting you open, Jack." he mumbled into my collarbone.

"Where will you cut me?" I was shocked by how low my voice sounded.

"I'll place the incision wherever you want…"

Damien pulled away from me. He crawled over to his nightstand and pulled something out of the top drawer. When he came back, I saw that it was something long and covered in a black case. Damien slid out a thin bladed knife. I gulped.

"Why do you even have one?" I stared at the shiny, new blade. It looked completely unused.

"It's a type of hunting knife. My dad got it for me…oh, ages ago." Damien said mistily, examining the knife.

"You never told me you hunted."

"I don't. Another reason why I've disappointed him." Damien shrugged. He stared at the blade for a few more minutes and then looked up at me.

How it happened, I'm still unsure. But I was already holding out my forearm to him. I wasn't shaking anymore. The steady, low flame that had began burning low in my abdomen didn't wish to be smothered…and I knew that Damien and I were a little different from most of the teen couples surrounding us. This would mean forever. And whatever happened after this, and I was sure something would, it would never break us again. Damien dragged the tip of the blade a few inches across my bare skin. A thin red line appeared.

"It'll have to be deeper than that," I hissed. It felt like a paper cut.

Damien frowned and ran the knife along me again, staying away from my wrist. Scarlet blood blossomed over my pale skin. It was…so, red I guess. I stared at my arm for a few moments and pondered over how I had gotten so fair skinned. Damien broke my spell by reaching down and licking up all the blood dots. I hissed again. Something inside me jumped. A warmth burned beneath my wounded skin.

"Deeper?" he asked throatily. His teeth were stained red.

I nodded quickly, shoving my arm into his chest. He chuckled and stuck the knife into the cut. Dark, warmer blood flowed down my wrist and across my fingers. Damien grabbed my hand and licked them clean before a drop touched his bedspread. His tongue swirled up my wrist and back to the deep, gushing cut. Damien placed his entire mouth over it.

There wasn't much for me to say to him then. Things were fuzzy behind my eyelids. I knew I began to moan, tiny little groans that only made his lips pull more at my skin. I felt airy and so…so turned on. My eyelids fluttered and I stared at Damien. He was drinking, one line of scarlet blood trailing from his lower lip to his chin. It was his eyes that were so amazing. They were hard and lust driven, and staring directly back at me. I sat up the best I could and nudged my hips against his knee. I fell back again, staring around dazedly. Damien quickly tugged my pants and boxers down past my thighs. My skin flushed but I wasn't embarrassed. With his free hand he took my half hard dick and pumped it at a rapid pace that I hadn't been prepared for.

I fell into his lap. Damien pulled his legs up to his chest so I could fit. His mouth was still attached to my forearm, which I knew was still bleeding. My mind fuzzily thought of the dangers of that but I didn't stop him. It felt too amazing. So was what his other hand was up to. I thrust into his fist, wildly pushing against Damien. I needed more contact, more friction. I ground my nails into his shirt. When I fell for the third time, I tore the fabric.

"D-Damien…" I whispered. Every time I blinked I saw whiteness.

His mouth parted from my forearm. Blood soaked his lips and chin. He looked down between us, at how close I was to spilling on his chest. I groaned and pushed against him. Damien grinned a smile I won't ever forget. I came violently and it went everywhere. My skin was still flushed and my arm only throbbed. Damien held me and we were quiet.

We had imprinted.


	13. Faint

_Thirteen. _Damien.

A/N: So sorry for the long delay…college sucks. This chapter is sexy and too graphic for this site. Oh well. I warn you of, angst, oral, and other sexual activity.

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I woke up the next morning beneath a cloud of bliss. For the first time in months everything felt peaceful. It was as if I had fallen in love with Jack all over again. Each morning after that remained under the same pattern. My days became so simple, when before each hour had seemed so hard. I would perform my academic duties, as well as completing my obligations within the Dark Daughters organization. Then all my spare time became devoted to Jack. Sometimes I'd talk him into studying, and sometimes he would let me read one of his stories. There were days when we were insanely passionate. I'd lock up my bedroom door, Jack would insist on drawing the curtains closed. I could have spent weeks on what we did during the few early morning hours. However, we still were virgins. That would end soon. I could almost sense it. We could only do so much in bed before it just happened.

In addition, life in general returned to normal. The Twins and Aphrodite weren't pleased with Jack, but they were starting to accept his return. Moods perked up and I felt at ease. After so long a period suffering different types of peril, this was definitely a long overdue break.

I shouldn't have let myself relax so much. That is when the fates get you. Unsuspecting, underhanded, cruel twists that alter your entire existence.

Jack was curled up against my side, sucking gently on my left nipple. I could feel his sharp nails scraping my chest lightly. The bed felt so warm. His teeth dug in with every flick of his small tongue. A mangled groan was stuck in my throat. My hands spread out blindly all over Jack's body. While one dragged down his back, the other skimmed his chest, past his curved hips, between his soft thighs. He gasped into my nipple as I cupped his semi-hardened cock. My fingers rubbed at the head, precum dotting my wrist. I looked up and was amazed for the millionth time by Jack. He had pulled away from my chest. His hair was ruffled up like a baby duck. His plaid shirt was rumpled and the top four buttons had opened, exposing part of his pale chest. His lips were wet and slightly parted as he tipped his head back slightly. I wanted to hear him, have him pant and wiggle and moan for me to let him release. I could feel myself harden by just looking at Jack, making my tight slacks even more uncomfortable. Jack looked down at the bulge and surprised me. Slowly, began to unzip my pants. He slid them down my thighs as I wobbled back, sitting on my heels. Jack bit into his lower lip, pulling my stiffening dick out of my boxers. He pushed it up towards my stomach, rubbing precum against me.

It intrigues me, how one's mind lapses into a fog when involved in sensual activities. My vamp soc test was the following day, and it just didn't seem like a concern anymore. It had been the most important thing on earth no more than an hour before. I couldn't even really recall what was on the blasted exam. Suddenly, Jack's head dipped down between my thighs. His tongue slid slowly over the tip of my cock, wrapping around it. He drawled me into his mouth and began to suck. A moan that was too low and too deep bubbled up in me and released over my lips before I could stop it. Jack seemed pleased. His hand cupped my testicles, toying with me. Slowly he edged me down his warm, small throat. My thighs trembled and I had to try to hold still so that I wouldn't gag him.

Jack's slick throat began to move against me, contracting tight around my length. He swallowed vigorously, spit and precum filling his mouth. Small droplets of the mixture escaped his mouth, running down his chin. I could feel the need to ejaculate burn inside my abdomen. But before I could, Jack pulled his mouth away. A string of saliva connected his lips to my cock. A weird, whiny, uncharacteristic moan burst out of me. Jack giggled. His eyes watched me curiously, and slightly frightened. I had to resist the urge to touch myself. Jack tugged off hisplaid shirt, getting it stuck on his arm. He was always so slow about it. I had seen him naked numerous times, but it just never failed to embarrass him. Sure enough, when I looked over at him, his cheeks were blushed bright pink. I threw his clothes aside into a pile with mine. Then, I turned to Jack and waited for instruction.

I went at his pace. It would always be that way. He stared downwards, biting, almost gnawing on his lips. I was about to speak when he suddenly scooted back from me. He laid down, spreading his legs open. Jack took my wrists and pulled me forward a bit, so that I was between his thighs. I knew then what he wanted. My heart began to beat even louder. I could hear the blood rush. Beside my bed in the end table drawer was a small bottle of lubricant. I darted around Jack's shoulder, pulling that out as well as a condom. Jack grasped my wrist again and shook his head.

"No condom."

I blinked about five thousand times. Then I dropped it back in the drawer. "I thought you'd want one."

He shook his head again. "What I want is to feel you cum inside me."

My spine quaked along my back. I felt the shiver deep down to my tailbone. I threw the drawer closed so hard that it bounced back open on the rebound.

I settled back down in front of Jack. His legs were shaking, his cock slightly hard. I rubbed it gently, opening the small bottle and setting it against my knee. My hand traveled down from his cock to his testicles, to which I gave a rough squeeze. Jack's lower half jolted against the mattress but his eyes remained focused on me. My index finger trailed down the leg joint of his groin. I made it circle around the skin and brushed my fingertip against his small opening. It would be so tight…that excited and scared me all at the same time. It would hurt Jack, I knew that. He did too from the way his face looked…so nervous. I spread a little of the clear lubricant onto my fingertip, and rubbed it against his hole. His eyes slipped closed then, but before I could insert my finger, my cell phone rang. It was the low and slow funeral march ringtone that signaled my Mother was calling. I picked the phone up and hit ignore before tossing it onto the carpet. It landed in the clothes pile beside the bed.

"W-who was it?" Jack asked softly.

"Mom…" I shook my head. I had to get back to work.

A beep from the floor suggested a voicemail. I started pushing my index finger inside Jack. He gasped a noise that was close to a hiss. His nails dug deep into my bedspread. And, I could tell he wanted to scream. After I had one finger in completely, I edged my middle finger in next. Jack's strangled cries burst out as I began to brush my fingertips against the tight muscle walls. I didn't think I could get so aroused from his little mewls and hisses. Perverse thoughts entered through my head as Jack continued to make noises like an abused kitten. My brain filtered images of Jack as a kitten, dressed _like_ a kitten…my three lubricated fingers thrust hard inside his tight cavity. Jack's forehead and stomach gleamed with shiny perspiration. His dick was now so stiff it was in the same league as mine. My hand just wrapped around his small cock when the phone rang again.

Jack's eyes fluttered open. A moan had paused in his throat.

It was the low, deep funeral march.

I almost growled.

"Damien…you should…" Jack spoke, choking around his stunted groan.

I had cut him off. "No."

"What if its important?"

I locked eyes with him. "She never has anything to say that is worth my time. And nothing could be more important than what we're doing right now."

Jack's face turned even pinker. He sat up, pulling my wrist away. My fingers slid out slowly and made him moan.

The phone went quiet, but then rang immediately after the last call ended. I honestly didn't care what my Mother had to say. But Jack batted his eyes at me.

"An-answer it…" his voice wavered, probably due to his erection.

I sighed and picked up the slender, silver phone. It had fallen into the pant leg of Jack's jeans. It was still lit up in blue light and playing the mournful tune.

"Mom?" I answered, trying very hard not to sound like I wish she would fall off the face of the planet.

Her response was a soft sob.

My skin prickled against my bones. She never, ever cried. Especially not to me. Maybe about me to others, trying to gain sympathy from them…but never _to_ me.

"M-mom…?" I tried again.

"You need to come home, Damien."

My fiery rage returned but was now twice as hot. "Mom. I am a vampyre fledgling. I can't just leave because you don't understand…"

"Damien…you don't…it's your father."

I blinked. So the old man "missed me" now, did he? Yeah right.

"I'm staying here, Mom. He wouldn't want me home unless he wanted to mock my life or something-,"

"He's dead, Damien."

My throat closed. I guess I must have looked as shocked as I felt because suddenly Jack was next to me. His hands touched my side, warm and comforting.

"Dead…h-how…?"

Mom wept again. "Suicide…I have to hang up now. Your Aunt Emma will be up to get you at school at three today."

She hung up. The dial tone whirled in my ear.

Dead.

My heart stalled and froze between my ribs.

"Damien! Who died…what's wrong?" Jack clung frantically to my chest.

Images of my father sped through my brain. He loved me once, when I was small. He would take me everywhere. To the hardware store. To company picnics, where he would show me off to his co-workers. We would play ball and go swimming, and when the weather was perfect, we would fly my homemade kite in the clearing behind the house. He took me hunting and fishing. I have albums chalk full of photographic proof that he loved me at one time…

Then I turned fourteen.

The feeling had been creeping up on me for awhile. When I went to high school, everything changed. I had always found boys more attractive than girls. Girls were my playmates. I preferred spending time with them inside during gym class, rather than outside playing football in the grass. I didn't want my father to know…I didn't want him to hate me. So I would pretend to be the same old Damien he had always known. When he found out…he hated me. He didn't understand…I had always been like this. No one had to teach me how to be homosexual. I was his only child, his only son. Mom almost died having me…another child would have killed her for sure. So they spoiled and doted on me from the second I existed.

Just because I ended up gay, it was as if they wanted to take back ever having me. I did nothing right. All fifteen years were just a waste…and it was my fault. Like I had done this just to piss them off. They became suspicious of everything I did, everywhere that I went, too. I made my own father hate me.

Then I was marked. You would have thought it was done by Satan. I should have just died instead of coming here. At least, that is what my parents thought. In my father's eyes I would burn in hell one day.

My father's eyes. Dark. Cold. Glassy.

Dead.

Tears stung the corners of my eyes. I touched them awkwardly, as though the salty droplets were an unknown substance. I could feel Jack's arms wrapped around my chest, his soft hair rubbing against my bare side.

"My Dad's dead." I mumbled bluntly.

Jack rubbed his head into me harder, not seeming to care about how stiff my body must have felt to him, or that I couldn't even raise my arms to hold him in return.

"I know." He said quietly.

The tears became too much. My head slowly dropped into Jack's hair as my knees collapsed together against the mattress. He knew because of our imprint. Jack felt every inch of the sorrow and pain that now erupted within me. A loud sob wretched its way out of my throat as I burrowed into my one and only life mate.


End file.
